When is 'good enough' good?

Where is that thin line separating 'good enough' from 'extraordinary'?

This person I know said it's there, barely visible and often goes unnoticed - especially by people who limit themselves and refuse to go over the boundary.

But what if, extraordinary is an oxymoron of life and I choose not to be anywhere near it? Extraordinary is not 'good' at all times. It is pretentious; a coward hiding behind the facet of power. Extraordinary is arrogant, boastful and proud. It shines the brightest and it tends to blind people.

I don't like anything extraordinary. No, scratch that... I hate extraordinary.

'Good enough', on the other hand, is an old tale that rots with history. Sadly. Those who are JUST 'good enough' are forgotten. But they are, to my belief, those who lived life to its fullest. 'Good enough' is meek and humble but is never lazy.

It is contented - the way people should be.

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Finally on Twitter...

My one-liner whatnots... v(^___^)v

Say what you gotta say...

God, help!

I feel a little confused and sad that I sometimes feel like what 'that' they call as a 'floating' Christian.

If there's any thought that I hate entertaining, it is ME questioning my own faith in God. I love the Lord with all my heart and I feel a very strong yearning for Him and yet sometimes, I still feel I am going astray.

These days, I haven't been going to the church. And there is this nagging feeling. But weird enough, I feel liberated and happy. I sometimes can't really understand what my mind is dictating my senses. I don't know if it is WRONG but I don't feel RIGHT at all (sometimes) when I am there. Probably wrong but I have this feeling that I can be closer to GOD in my own way. I am letting myself drawn closer...

I've given my heart, I surrendered my all to God and I think that is what's important. For now, I can only pray.

Trip to Quiapo

What better way to spend Valentines than having a field day in Quiapo, Binondo and finally, good old Divisoria. Last Feb. 14, while probably half the world is busy 'glamming up' for Happy Hearts Day, me, my sister and her hubby were going through the streets of Quiapo, getting our feet dirty (it was rainingfor a while) while hoarding good 'ol reliable and shockingly cheap dvds.

It's amazing how something 'illegal' can seem so appropriate. Nyarks... did I just say that? I was able to buy six new movies (Milk, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire - this one's surprisingly awesome, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, Changeling & The Secret Life of Bees) for only Php200. Nope, haven't watched them all yet! I also bought the complete season of Smallville, thus, my current Clark Kent re-addiction (was before but I got tired of watching Lana Lang collecting boyfriends) and some (as usual) Korean novelas.

Note how my sister's hubby looks like he could disappear right there and then 'coz of too much embarrassment. =)

From Quiapo, we walked along the cramped streets and narrow alleyways until we reached Carriedo, Sta.Cruz and passed through a lot of Jewellery shops in Ongpin. This photo I 'borrowed' from Nostalgia Manila and the photo I've taken using my ever-reliable KRZR cam phone shows that nothing's changed at the Plaza Goiti (Carriedo), except the fountain in the middle and probably, the stench.

Fun day all in all and I wouldn't trade it for a cozy 'date' at a coffeeshop... =)

Valentines (again)... oh well...

The blueprint isn't laid out openly as I wished it to be. The future is still looking bleak, if there is anything really. And I don't see it happening so soon. Oh well...

***

Valentine's eve and I am spending the night with Mark Haddon (A Spot of Bother is hilarious... read it!), contemplating on consuming this unopened chocolate bar from my unnichan and her hubby and a sweet greeting card (again, from them). Our annoying neighbor is keeping the whole neighborhood awake, singing his equally annoying rendition of Rey Valera's classics. Just because it's valentines, you freakin' arse, still don't have the right to murder these songs and our eardrums, you fat bug!

Seriously, I am annoyed to infinity.

I went home *extra* early today 'coz I don't want to be caught up amidst floating flowers, *extra* snoggly couples, traffic, *extra* snoggly couples, more floating flowers and traffic. U-huh. Oh shut up, I am being bitter, I know.

This whole being single thing doesn't really help. Hypocrisy aside, there's just one question in my mind during this so-called time of the year: "Why the hell am I single?!?" But the day after, I wake up happy again and loving myself even more. And the moment I open my eyes, I still can say, 'You rock God!'

I thought I ought to give myself a little something this year... if no one would do it for me, I'll do it for myself. =)

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end... (Anonymous says)

Down right pathetic.

This guy I know from way back then.

He made me hate myself for quite some time. And I mean, for a long long time. And I kind'a hate myself more when I look back at how stupid I was or how he made me look like one at least.

It wasn't my fault I plummeted head straight and totally lost my mind. He was the picture of perfection and I could only see or chose to see one side of him. He seemed kind and nice and just that person who would sweep you off your feet and catch you when you swoon. To some extent, he was but then the 'jackass' side became more and more apparent.

Those crazy things I did seemed more pathetic now when I think about it. I thought it was cool letting the whole world know that you are head-over-heels with someone. At that time, it felt like I had some sort of power that I could practically say and do everything that I want and it wouldn't bother him that much. Because I felt like he owes me something for liking him. It didn't occur to me that he might not like the attention. Or he simply just didn't care.

And just because I loved his smile (or practically everything about him), I chose to ignore the fact that he wasn't really smiling for me. I totally overlooked the fact that he didn't even look at me when I talk, that he deliberately turns his attention to something else hoping probably that I would just scram and spare him the agony.

That at that time, I pathetically embraced everything that he likes. From our common interests like music, to the things that were pretty much alien to me. The effort wasn't even worth five cents. What's good about that is I've discovered some things that remained embellished on my being despite the fact that everything' about me and him (there was never an 'us') is all in vain right now.

As much as I don't like to regret, I regret knowing him. I regret the fact that I let him trample silently on me. I was a waste and I didn't deserve that. If only I could go back, I would take back what I said or what I did.

It didn't 'rock' at all. Not one bit.

(On why the sudden rantings about this guy, I have no idea. It's as if I woke up and thought about it all day with no particular reason whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I've long been awaken from that slumber; he just popped in all of a sudden!)

This is me and my God

I'm feeling 'lost' again... but somehow I know He found me.

'WonBin and Me'

I just finished 'Marley and Me' and my face is still a little tear-stained. The movie is a typical story of humans getting too attached to their pet dog and how it made an impact (or in that case) built their lives. It was nothing out of the ordinary except that it has my ever-favorite Owen Wilson in it (starring with Jen Aniston). Oh, and Mc Steamy (Eric Dane) is also there, playing - as usual - a man whore who is friends with Wilson.

Marley is an exceptional dog - a big bundle of rugrat which actually reminded me of our very own deranged and miserable mongrel WonBin. They are very much alike, I would say. They both chew everything they come across with- edible or not. Marley's preference are furnitures, while WonBin thinks shoes and slippers are a foodfest. They are both big; as in human tall big when they are standing up. They both don't listen to their humans and they are both afraid of thunder and loud noises. The big difference is Marley can be around people while WonBin just simply cannot. He isn't trained and he only knows five people in his life - my family. He's the type which would literally bite anyone who comes near him.

As a matter of fact, he's bitten about four or five already and we almost gave him up for it. The last one was when he chewed on my brother-in-law's leg just a few weeks ago. My mom especially would always say that there is no good in keeping him and had already planned on taking him to the dog pound a couple of times. But obviously, whatever's left of their affection for WonBin got the best of them and gave him another chance.

Sometimes I think he has a mind of a human. He's a a sensitive 'little' prick that wjhen you ignore him he'll get mad and try to get you for it, either by 'pretending' for days that he doesn't know you and growl at you, or take a piss at you. He surely knows how to take revenge.

WonBin isn't really my dog although I was the one who bought him. He's my little brother's. Vinz is his human, not me but I love him just the same. And while watching Marley (Spoiler Alert!) die in the end, I thought about how I would feel if we lose him. To think that I already somehow prepared myself about that dog pound thing. Now that I think about it, I would surely cry if ever that happens. He's just about just three years old and it looks like he has a lot more years to go. I just hope he'd stop biting people.

Now, I'm sure about one thing: dogs - they can really make people cry.

First month gone

Exactly 15 days...

I promised myself I'd always keep my blogs (yep, all of 'em) updated but I could not keep my word. I was too preoccupied characterizing the term 'busy'. When I think about it, I have been so far at my busiest. Some might criticize me for this... Aba e, kelan ba ko hindi naging busy?

Our new magazine project is to blame. Don't get this all wrong; I am definitely not complaining. Believe it or not, I am falling in-love with my job all over again... or at least I am trying to. It's a good thing, right? With the unemployment rate climbing up and the left and right retrenchment even amongst the biggest of companies, I guess I am pretty lucky to have this job. It's not something to brag about. I wouldn't really dare, especially considering the kind of working environment I have and that sunnov-a-gun *bleep* for a *bleep*. You have no idea.

It's February 01. Time is wheezing past me but, surprisingly, I am still able to manage. *Big Smile* I've been missing a lot of people but I'm not sure if they miss me as much (haha) As much as I abhor 'change' because I am the type of person who tends to be very attached to the current situation and I kind of lose myself when the paradigm tilts, I am learning to live with it. Wow, nagma-mature na yata ako.

The other day, I went on a 'Field Trip'. I would call it that because it felt like it. My friend K who's based in Singapore sent me 'Shokubutsu' (a body wash which I am fond of calling Zashikibutsu) after I begged her for it since I couldn't really find any here in RP. I had to go to 'Jollibee Kalentong' to meet her friend's maid who kept texting me for three consecutive days, asking me to get my 'lotion'. To make the very long and tiring story short, I fought my way to to the meeting place through the ever-chaotic MRT (a complete nightmare, I nearly fell down the train tracks because people were pushing) and rode a jeep which I had no clue whatsoever where it was really going. Plus, may bonus pa - (forgive me for this) the driver smells. Promise, naiintindihan ko naman na maghapon nang namamasada si Manong at pagod na siya, pero naman... no exag pero siguro because I was so tired, I think I puked a little in my mouth and I swallowed it. Sorry, kadiri.

Ironically, I had fun with my little adventure. It was like one of my trips where I had to ask for directions, or sometimes, be stubborn and just follow my gut feel only to feel stupid because I could've asked anyway. I passed by my high school but I didn't see it much because it was dark already. I passed by Sta. Ana bridge and St. Francis - the very familiar places which reminded me only of my highschool friends. Nice - the feeling =)

Then today, I am glued to my laptop, deciphering InDesign and Photoshop. I am practicing with graphics design and layout because I'll be needing them a lot in the next few days. And, just because I want to learn. Here's a sample:

Cropped it from one of our group photos and used a background which I 'stole' from a Korean catalogue... I think I blurred the edges too much. I used some rendering like lens flare and lighting effects... naks!