Gray as Grey's Anatomy

My head is throbbing like crazy and I am wondering for the -nth time why the sleeping bug still fails to kick in despite the fact that it's already half past one in the morning and I am dead beat tired.

Less than 30 minutes ago, me and my sibs were at the hospital (that darn expensive one in Makati) because our stupid dog attacked Mike, my sister's hubby, and we had to bring him in the emergency for first aid and anti-rabies injection. Of all the time in the world, Won Bin chose to chew on Mike's legs when all the world's creatures are just about to go to sleep... haay.

Anyway, it was my first time again in years to be inside the emergency unit of a hospital and I had the sudden urge to watch Grey's anatomy at the very moment. But what I saw were way far from McSteamy and McDreamy and not even close by an inch to SGH. Oh, well... that's why it was meant to be seen by me only in tv. What the hell am I thinking anyway?

It was depressing and fascinating at the same time. While some people are fighting to live, with a disturbing number of tubes attached to their helpless and almost lifeless bodies, some even can find time to look 'glamorous' and 'wealthy to be worthy' to be a patient in that hospital. WTF. Like this lady who has a cast on her arms, looking at people as if she's trying to weigh in her mind if the next person is 'capable' if you know what I mean. I wanted to spit on her cast.

I don't even know why I am blabbing here about her. I guess she (or at least the look on her face) really got on my nerves.

I need to sleep. I got to sleep.

Reality bites but it doesn't make me bleed

People always seem to have different POVs (point of views) but sometimes it still doesn't fail to amaze me how the degree of differences can be so widely stretched amongst individual that you'd think, they've been on the opposite sides of the ring from the very beginning.

I don't know if I am the one being cynical here. All I wanted was to be as close to reality as it can get. Or maybe, I'm the one who's really letting go of my grip to it.

What is wrong with living your life the way it is meant to be? I am not really a fan of all that 'pre-destined' crap but I just couldn't see myself running after my fate. Especially now that I seem to be in the middle of a chaos that could not be arranged in a whim.

Well, if I am really letting go of reality, blame me, sue me, hurt me. Then, probably, I'd feel better... I'd feel a-okay. If this is growing up, I wouldn't want it. I want to stay like this forever.

***

I hate it but I am hurting now. Not that suicidal-agonizing hurt but just plain hurt. I'm beginning to believe that I am starting to lose people. Some here, some there. Some indirectly and some, just plain jerks who are actually so stupid when I think about it. (Imagine the nerve of this guy!)

But hey, it's too early this year to feel that. I lose some, I gain some.

I still am feeling positive and I surely want to smile more than I frown. After all, this life is still pretty as I want it to be. =)