This is my now

This is a very nice song from AI Season 6. I like Jordin Sparks' version better. But hey, i still love Blake (",)

THIS IS MY NOW

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.

Nagsimula and lahat kay Apeng Daldal.

A random conversation between Thet and Gela one boring Tuesday afternoon.

(Thet flipping through the pages of a magazine. Sees a photo of a guy who looks like a quintessential 'intsik beho'. Gets excited and turns to Gela)

Thet: Gela! 'Di ba mahilig ka rin sa oriental looking? (Tries very hard to conceal a shippish grin)

Gela: (Looking up from her PC) Ewww... kadiri, kamukha ni Apeng Daldal! (Imaagine her uttering these words continuously without even breathing)

Hehe.

Now, my question is: Who the friggin' f*ck is Apeng Daldal? Who is Chichay? Chichay by the way looks like one of our officemates (according to she-devil Gela). Unfortunately, I can't remember Chichay's face; but I do know who Gela's referring to. Bad bad bad. =P

***

Then, there's this long list of song bloopers from myself and some, I heard people singing (with great conviction!). In my case, believe me, I'm just being honest; obviously i got the lyrics wrong (and I know they are because they don't make any sense) but it's just funny... =) Sample nga!

From 98 Degrees' Hardest Thing
Original Lyrics: Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending
Thet's Lyrics: Sama ka sa Chicago (C'mon hey...)

From Earth Wind and Fire's Every Now and Then
Original Lyrics: Every now and then, I find myself wondrin' about you baby
Girl in the bathroom lyrics: Every now and then, you are my prind... hmmm... hmmmm...

From All For One's I Swear
Original Lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I swear by the shadow that's by your side
My friend's lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars up above
And I swear by the shadow that's following around (whaaat???)

Hehe. Patikim pa lang yan. I just want to make myself smile.

Sickly miming and a zillion other thoughts.

Wow. It’s raining. It really is! I wouldn’t say that this is the first rain of the season but this is the first rain that I had actually seen and touched. The first one was when I was imprisoned in the office and the other one, while I was sleeping like a baby, trying to bear an excruciating migraine. I’m just so happy it rained =)During such times, there’s nothing more home-my than a cup of soup, watching Conan O’Brian laughing like a madcow on the tube and me on my bed, covered in pillows. *Sigh*

On with my story. Once again, I took a sick leave because I have a loose bowel movement (yep, LBM) and I’ve been throwing up all my guts out since this morning. I had this horrible feeling the moment I was awakened by a stomach-ache at around 5 am. It must be something I ate yesterday. My sister was actually as sick as I am but I guess she’s gutsy enough to still go to work in that condition. I, on the other hand, submitted to my weak persona and decided to just rest. Anyway, my dad’s also home so I have a company. This morning, I was all set to go to work – did take a bath, I was all dressed-up and then… bummer…. my stomach growled again and I spent the next 30 minutes inside the loo, hanging on for dear life. It felt like all my insides were meaning to get out. It was horrible.

I’ve just noticed how I am becoming a ‘sickly miming’ these past few weeks – migraine, allergic-rhinitis, muscle pains, chest pains and nausea, and now, digestive problems. Am I becoming unhealthy? The last time I went to the doctor was during our office annual check up (last January I think) and there wasn’t any bad diagnosis. So I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Probably, tiring myself – physically and emotionally – is already taking its toll on me. I’ve been thinking about gazillion of things these days (and you’d wonder where the hell am I digging up such kind of thoughts) and it really is tiring. Sometimes I feel so restless and there’s this heavy lump inside, sort of an air-passage block that I think I could just scream and cry out. I want to know if I am nearing a nervous breakdown of some sort so if I really am, I can still do something about it. Whenever people ask me what makes my life difficult these days, I’d stare out into space and rummage through my head if everything in my life right now is really that bad. I always get the same answers – nothing in my life is wrong; it’s the way I handle them that is.

I always think of myself as that happy person who can always carry the cross no matter how big it may be. And I was. But right now, I think I am just a person who – just like everyone else – Jesus carried the cross for because there are times that I just can’t. My conscience fires up every time I succumb to hopelessness, hatred and envy because there are more people out there who are currently in more life-threatening situations than me. It somehow tells me that I have no reason to anguish, or if there is, I have a lot more reasons to celebrate life because I still have a lot of blessings. I need to count them again to remind me how lucky I am. And with these in mind, I find reasons to regain my strength and go out into the world with higher hopes this time.

election blah.

This post is three days overdue.

I remember writing a couple of paragraphs yesterday and saving it as draft but when I opened my blog... voila... it was... gone! Haay...

Anyway, I was writing something about the elections and my anticipation of who's going to be given the political scepters once again. On top of that, I would like to know if Chiz Escudero will be topping the hoard. I like him a lot. =)

In the last couple of days since the elections, I've been browsing through all possible sources of quick counts, surveys, exit polls and whatnot (yihee... whatnot daw o...) On a hopeful note, I just want the elections over and done with. No matter how grandiose the press releases are on its becoming a little more peaceful than the previous ones, I'd still say bullsh*t.

More than a hundred cases of election-related crimes have already been reported and still counting. The same old crap on who's being cheated and who's cheating are still plaguing news everywhere. Yesterday, I watched Manny Pacquiao protesting about election returns that allegedly violates COMELEC rules and, therefore, should be considered void. Talk about being desperate. I heard his contender knocked him out. Nothing against him but I just think he's not for politics. We have so much nincompoops sitting their bums to numbness already both in the senate and the congress. Need I say more?

And then, this morning, I watched Anthony Taberna grill this Comelec official about their sudden decision to question broadcast companies on the media counts. They smell propaganda in the air; I smell conspiracy.

But then again, I promised myself that I'd be less interested in this kind of things. I've got enough worries to keep myself locked in hell for about a lifetime. I am just thankful that no more low-budgeted annoying election jingles will wake me up in the morning; there will be no more unfamiliar faces or strangers wearing brightly-colored vests with screaming 'Vote for WHOEVER!' will suddenly shake my hand and ask me to vote for the a**wipe; I'll be able to watch the local channels without these political ads popping up every nano second; no more pro-penoy... ay, pinoy pala =)

I am just so happy.

Now, I wonder if faffy Chiz Escudero will still make it to the top.

Home Arrest

I woke up this morning with a blinding headache. I can't even open my eyes because it was too painful; it felt like the light could blind me. I was also feeling nauseous that I wanted to throw-up. My sister said it was probably a migraine. I think it has got to do with my eyes. I probably need to visit my eye doctor again... tsk.

Since I was literally a walking zombie, I stayed home and slept literally the whole day. This felt good because I haven't had a decent sleep in the last few days. Note to self: Never drink Sulawesi coffee and Vanilla Affogato combined when you're just a few hours away from hitting the sack; you'll have a hard time getting the shut eye! I got the nagging from Gela yesterday that I only got to drink one (one!) cup the whole day. It was painful.

I can't help but feel a little guilty for taking the time off from work today. I now I sound like a martyr-moron but I've got piles of pending work sitting like sh*t on my table. It feels weird that during those times that I sit on my huge bonbon chair at work, my bum feels like being grilled that I can't wait to get away from it. Funny, now I miss it.

Somehow it feels liberating to just forget about work and indulge in the things that I so love to do like sleeping, watching K-Dramas the whole day, reading and munching on junkfood 'till my tummy aches. But I know I always can't so I'm taking this sweet time off from work to somehow please myself. I've always wanted a long vacation. No, not the out-of-town or out-of-the-country type, (though that would be lovely)but just a vacation at home, bumming myself out 'till I realize how sweet the outside world is.

Saranghe Unni.

It may not show because I am the mother of all 'malditas' and the so-called prodigal daughter in our family, but I love my Ate Lani more than anybody else in the world. =) She's been my twin sister (despite our three-year gap). She's always been the understanding one between us two; I've always been the little devil.

Unni...


I know in about a year you'll get married and I'll be alone. I'm so used to sharing a room with you; sharing everything with you. And do you know? I get jealous over someone else getting your attention? Yes, I am that brat who always want my big sister by my side no matter what. I am that selfish little twerp who wants everything for herself with my big sister giving me that approving nod.

You'll always be my pink five and I, your yellow four. (Yep, kuya will still be that bratty blue three). We'll always gush about Cha Tae Hyun and Kim Jae Won and watch Korean dramas & movies together. We'll always submit to our childish whim to go gaga over Taiwanese and Japanese boybands and Hallyu actors. To me, we are forever juvenile.

I'm sorry I always make you cry. I throw your things away (or even throw things at you) when we fight. I'm sorry I was cruel to all your ex-boyfriends (by the way, I didn't like all of them). I'm sorry you have to say sorry to me first even if sometimes I was the one who created the mess. Mian hamnida unni.

Happy Birthday! Aylachu. MWAH! v(^_^)v

Insomnia leads here.

haaayyyy... my life's been one big drain these past few days. I feel like I've been a walking zombie. Ironically though, I really can't understand how I feel - confused, angry, mad, sad, frustrated, etc. I hate it that I'm becoming a pessimist.

I miss being happy. I miss laughing like it would be my last. I miss a lot of people. I even miss people whom I get to see everyday. I miss talking about dreams and what-we-want-to-be-when-we-grow-old-and-withered kind of conversations. I miss hanging out at Starbucks. I miss listening to the songs that me and my friends used to play a dozen times a day without anyone of us ever complaining. I miss those quiet moments when I just stare at the far horizon (Manila Bay, that is) while listening to Pachelbel Canon in D. I miss buying breakfast at Mr. Donuts and eating lunch from Jolly Jeep.

Then again, it's probably not these things that I've mentioned that I miss. I just probably miss the old times; the way it was - my comfort zone.

Harry Potter goes 'bold'

Harry Potter decided to throw away his invisibility cloak and bare his all right before the Londoners' [hungry] eyes in Peter Shaffer's award-winning stage play, Equus. A friend who's now working in London told me this play was so publicized that tabloids featuring photos of a butt-naked Daniel were everywhere. I wish he got me a copy... hehe.







Hmm... he's got a girl here too...





whoa... nice tush!

Haay...yayay!

I've checked my YM for about five times in a span of two minutes and yes... he's still online... yaikss! Mag-'hi' na kase. Geez, I really want to strangle myself for being so affected. It's been so long. Move on. Forget about him. ANUBA!

Anyway, that was just a commercial.

The real point of this whole blog thing is... I don't know. I guess I just want to recount the things that happened to me in the week that was =) It was tiring. I was working 'til my eyes were chinky (whoa!) hehe. Nevertheless, it was peaceful. I haven't seen much of the walking nightmare. I'm sure you know who I'm referring to. Made my life a lot more easier v(^_^)v

This morning, we had the usual Business Unit Heads Meeting (or as my officemates put it: Bullshit Session). I was surprised I wasn't grilled. The ogre wasn't in a bad mood this morning (whatever he ate); he's actually... well... not shouting.

I guess I just have to do better at what I do knowing there is no such thing as a 'job well done' in my workplace. You have to cry blood and spill out your guts before you get that thumbs up sign. I wonder if there's still blood left in me. To be very honest, nothing in that place has ever lifted my spirits up. But I wouldn't want to be further swallowed by the black hole. I want to fight it and work like this would be my last day. I love my work anyway.

Bigla akong tinamad magsulat... so next time na ulit.

Yep, he's still online. Siyet.

Bago kong fafa. Ahihi...

This guy rocks! Astig!!!!
Blake Lewis from American Idol Season 6.