I AM A CHARACTER IN MY OWN FICTION.

The pretty-crazy life of a late 20ish career-driven, quirky, Asian drama addict who thinks she's Holden Caulfield in real life.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

An unintentional surge of emotion for No One

I was playing 'Bookworm' for three straight hours and I suddenly got bored and wrote this - non-stop, just let the words flow without putting any thought to it so forgive me it doesn't make any sense. But you know what? It does make a lot of sense to me =)

When the clouds part I see your face and then the moon rises I soon forgot that you ARE my life. Your tears, they blur my vision… the visions of us walking along the sandy beach, arms entwined, promising each other forever… and then I fell down off to the bottom of the well, hit my head and realized that I was all alone and there was never a you. I scurried through the forests, hoping I could find you, to overcome my fear, my restlessness ‘coz you are my only peace. But you are far… two inches down my heart. You lost track of time, forgot that I was waiting for you and you wandered far off to nowhere and I have no idea and I am not expecting that you’ll be coming back for me. You said you’ve forgotten something and you would want to get it back. Why will you go when I’m here already infront of you? I’m shedding my tears because you are tearing my heart right before your eyes, right before my consciousness and I can’t do anything about it. You devour my pride mercilessly and yet you are crying about it. I pity us ‘coz we are holding on to something we can have, yet we believe we cannot. My faith died together with yours. I want to save it but you seem to let go. I am holding on tight, you are covering my hands, you are protecting me with your warmth. But the warm cools down in an instant, like a sunny day fading out, you brought the rain. I am telling the world I love you. No, I want you in my life. I can never live without you. I probably can but I choose not to. What will I do when you start going your way? Serendipity is surreal like your so-called love for me. But can these words bring you courage and make you say what you really feel? My serendipity is you and you don’t even know it. My serendipity is us.
I went into the garden, touching every plant within my reach, hoping that at the end of the maze, you’ll be waiting for me. I went on ahead, I saw a swing, covered in ravines; it looks treacherous, yet peaceful and I thought I wanted to die right there and then. I traced down my steps to the path where I found you.

No comments: