I AM A CHARACTER IN MY OWN FICTION.

The pretty-crazy life of a late 20ish career-driven, quirky, Asian drama addict who thinks she's Holden Caulfield in real life.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Heart beating (sometimes it needs a good whipping!)

When I was a sophomore in college, I remember writing all the names of the guys whom I like, who likes me back, who I was linked to (some I don't even know or knows me) and I think I had quite a long list. Looking back at that, I'd say where have all these boys gone? Well, considering the fact that I've been single ever since I can remember.
Well, this 'exercise' if I may call it that was something I've done at a whim. Probably to somehow reassure myself that I was a completely normal likable teenager. And it was actually kind of embarrassing doing that, trying to come up with some kind of a proof. But honestly when you are at 17, no matter how straight your thinking can be, there are times when you think about...well, boys.
Ten years after, I still think about them. Yes, once in a while between emails and coffee breaks. I am thinking about those guys who came and went, some of them leaving me pretty valuable lessons. Some of them sending me bouts of gagging and wincing.
But the part that I love the most is when I am thinking about that one particular person who could (would?) make me smile at the mere thought of him. That no matter what he does, nothing would seem to change the way I feel about him. That between us, there are no happy beginnings nor sad endings. That the moment he invade my thoughts, there is no stopping. That it is an undeniable fact that I miss him every single minute of every single day. Heck, I even miss him even when he's around. That a simple glance can send ripples of shock waves to my blood streams.
Funny, you would think that I have fallen in-love.
But sadly, I haven't "met" this guy yet.

This song has something to do with my momentary 'cheezy' mood:

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