Ni Hao Singapore!

I've been meaning to blog my five-day trip in Singapore with my unni, where Kai (my sweetest friend ever) took us in, gave up her bed to accommodate these two tourist losers for four *friggin* nights, but I've been tied up with work and crazy personal and work-related emotional turmoil that I can't find time to blog. Waaah! Not to mention (but I did anyway), that my computer at home is b-u-s-t-e-d.

It's been onehelluva week since I got back. To put it in extreme, five-days of bliss is equal to a lifetime of suffering @ work. I'm not really talking about work as in the things I do, but work-things-that-have-been-happening-at-work work. *sigh*

So, to make myself happy, I need to relive my Singapore trip because it's kind of at the top of the "Thet's Blissful Life Moments".

Day 1 (Thursday) Hostile Hostel

I woke up a little past 7am, sort of excited about the trip but a little hesitant to leave my precious bed because I was still really really really sleepy. (I finished packing at 2am!) Seriously, I need to learn the 'art of packing' from Kai *wink*wink*. I haphazardly just stuffed in what I thought I would need for the trip to my bulky, bloody red luggage.
I was looking forward to this trip eversince we planned it last year. I thought we were all looking forward to it but then, probably it was just me... blah... blah... blah...

And so, at half past ten, me and my sister were fighting our way from the long queue at the airport. It's probably because I am not a jetsetter, I had no idea that a weekday at the airport is just like a weekend at the mall. Ang daming tao! It took more than an hour before we were able to board our plane. We took Jetstar, a budget airline, but good nonetheless, except that that flight is probably where all the ill-tempered flight attendants were assigned. As my sister puts it: "Parang mga dragon yung mga stewardess. Ang susunget!" Haha. Actually.

The plane ride was a smooth one (not much turbulence), except for the fact that the very little space between my knees and the seat in front of me was a big discomfort; i had to shift from sitting with my one ass-cheek to the other every once in a while. Bummer.

And so we arrived in Singapore a little past three and spent the rest of the day there... lost... waahhh... ahaha! kidding! we were such stubborn little dweebs that we insisted taking a public transport instead of making our lives easier by taking a cab. Well, what can we do?!? we're totally excited and we wanted to explore Singapore the moment we arrived. We ended up taking the MRT where we met two students from La Salle Benilde who were awed to bump into someone of their own race. It was actually overwhelming, I'd say. We got off at Paya Leybar Station where we then took a cab to Vita Hostel.

Grrr... Vita Hostel. It makes me frown thinking about it. It's a long story but to make it short, we didn't stay there. I made reservations online as a last resort since all (seriously!) hotels - budget and deluxe accommodations and hostels -- were already fully booked, probably because of the Great Singapore Sale and the vacation period. But it was a total disaster. The place didn't look like what it was advertising on the net at all. For one, it was a students' dorm, and two, the place was a mess. I reserved for a room for two but instead, the attendant crammed me and my sister (to our dismay!) to a room for four which were already being occupied by these two (err... how to put it... unhygienic?) Chinese students. Talk about the room's pungent smell, food leftovers and the worst, used undies strewn on top of the cabinet for everyone to see. Totally gross! We decided to just refund what we paid for the four nights and ended up bunking in with Kai for our whole stay in Singapore. To her roommates, we totally appreciate your patience for bearing with us. Thanks from the bottom of my little heart (^_^)

Kai took us to Bugis where we had dinner. Ahhh... chili mushroom noodles, I won't forget how my lips throbbed the whole night because it's too spicy and I kept on eating to my palate's content... it was sooo yummy! We hang out at Can Cafe and played cards. This place was unbelievable; it's so cool. The owner was probably some sort of a movie and music fanatic or a poster collector. It has a cozy and homey atmosphere, you'll be convinced you're lounging at your own couch. We went home to rest, exhausted but excited for the next day to come.

photos here.

Day 2 (Friday) Walk walk walk

It was nice to wake up on a cool morning on a foreign bed in a foreign land. (Thanks for the bed Kai... really appreciated it!). Kai had to go to work so how to spend the day would be up to me and my unni. First in the itinerary was to refund our payment to that hostel. Kai insisted we should demand for the full amount that we paid since we didn't even stay an hour in the room. But to make things easy and avoid arguments, we settled for the refund of three nights only. Fine. End of it.

From the hostel, we decided to walk all the way to Bugis with only a map and a big bottle of water in hand. We trudged the long (and clean!) roads of Singapore, turning left and right, checking out street signs like complete idiots but never daring to ask for directions. We felt like we were our own captain. We were enjoying every moment that we felt like total tourists, taking pictures every chance we get. I don't know how we ended up in that place but I swear, that would be the longest road I ever walked on, metaphorically speaking. Just like what I often see in the movies... a marketplace, a lot of people, scary-looking ones, strange and assaulting smell... (I won't say the exact place). I just want that road to end but the more I wish for it, the longer it seemed to get. My sister even had a funny comment: "Ano ba yung mga tao dito, 'pag bumibili ng pabango, kailangan may 'touch of incense'... Ahahaha. Funny.

It was almost noon when we reached Rochor Rd. (to my relief). Weird but I didn't feel hungry. And so we walked some more until we reached Sim Lim -- a famous gadgets haven. Techie guys will probably drool all over the place. It's like a big mall full of stalls that sell all kinds of gadgets -- from PSPs to MP3s to laptop computers to fake iPods. Sweet. I am a not really tech savvy but I had fun looking through all of those stuffs. We bought mom an MP3 and a flash disk for kuya. And some pasalubong from a stall where the attendant was a pinay. Ang saya! They say blood is thicker than water; Her blood probably turned into an ice pop when she knew that we were Pinays, she gave us whatever bargain she could offer.

The rest of the afternoon was spent inside that mall. It was tiring walking up and down and up and down, but it was worth it. I was actually contemplating on splurging on a gadget or a laptop but decided against it in the end thinking I've already got a handful of bills to pay once I get back in Manila. When I felt a jolt in my stomach - a signal that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast - I coaxed my sister to go to Bugis for some foodie. I actually ended up eating this ice cream sandwich - literally a slab / block of ice cream sandwiched in wafers. Yum! I was so enjoying eating that stuff that I forgot what my age was.

And then, we actually had to go to Parkway Parade -- a few kilometers from where we were -- to visit my sister's regional office. I can't believe she had to work in the middle of all these just because some pathetic losers in her office want to make her life miserable. Hay nako. But since we're on a turbo lakwatsa mode, it didn't really matter. Just that, we got lost... Hehe...

It was almost darkwhen we met Kai at the City Hall MRT Station. She got us Chippy. No, not the salty chips that I so love munching on with Coke, but Chippy as in grilled (is it?) sausage swimming in a well of mashed potatoes. Yummy! I swear, I'll get fat in a month in Singapore. I was such a muncher. We went to Esplanade and wherelse, SIngapore's famous Merlion. Too bad, it was a little dark so the pictures weren't that great, but good just the same. Then Kai took as to the Singapore National Library. Boy, did I fell in-love with the place -- from the high tech process of borrowing books to the vast range of materials that it has to offer. They even have an 'Acoustic Night' where people can lounge and rest while listening to some soulful music. Very veru nice. Should I live in Singapore, that would be my place of comfort. Dinner came and we walked to a very crowded Glutton's Bay (no kidding) which is known for the delectable Satay dish and other Arab food specialties. I don't know if we look like hungry kittens but this foreign white couple offered an almost untouched plate of satay. They said the food was too much, they can't finish them and they can't just throw them away. So we took the food and brought the leftovers home. After eating 'til all my intestines felt like they were being squeezed together, we walked to SunTech City, Koi Garden and the Fountain of Wealth. We took a lot of pictures, waited in line for a cab and went home.

But the day wasn't just about to end. Kai's roommates were sweet enough to throw her some sort of a Surprise Bday (eve) party, complete with lights-turned-off-shhh-she's-there-she's-coming-get-ready-Surprise!!! effect. I find that really sweet. Good for you Kai... =)

I was dead tired by the end of it that I actually slept while watching 'My Sassy Girl' for the -nth time.

photos here.

Day 3 (Saturday) Happy Happy Happy

Whew.. days do run really fast... It was on the third day that I realized we would have to come home soon. The thought actually saddened me as I was still immersed in the luxury of being far from work and far from my troubles back at home.

Happy Birthday Kai! The day was planned perfectly. We had breakfast at Ya Kun Kaya -- home of the famous Kaya toast and weird but delicious coffee with condensed milk. I actually liked it. We were running a little late (because I stayed too damn long in the shower according to Kai). After breakfast, we went straight to the Orchard, at Heeren mall where Kai would be getting her new tattoo. On the way, I already splurged a little cash buying some stuffs. Giordano was onsale and it was really funny to see people scuttling like their whole lives depended on the chance to buy these bargains. I splurged some more inside Heeren mall which is a testament to the Great Singapore Sale -- cheap bags, cheap shoes and a lot more.

The highlight of the day? Singapore Zoo and Night Safari. This was the first time I saw a bunch (literally) of baboons and monkeys, a white tiger, leppard, hippo (just like in the movies), a kangaroo, giraffe, lion, etc... etc... Daming hayup... Parang office... ahaha... just kiddin'

And then there's this incident where I've proven that Singaporeans definitely take into heart what they learned in kindergarten : 'Don't take what isn't yours.' Because I was too excited to see and claim our picture from the Photo Gallery (Kodak), I left my sister's camera on the counter. About 10 minutes have already passed when I remembered that I left it. Thank God, it was still there when Kai and I came to retrieve it. Whew! I can't help but compare: What if it happened here in the Philippines? As Lani unni puts it:"E dito nga, nasa loob na ng bag mo, dinudukot pa!" Gawd, she has a point. Definitely taken. I was sooo hungry I was wishing for a whole tub of rice for dinner. Unfortunately, the KFC in Singapore doesn't serve rice... I had to satisfy myself with two-piece chicken and mashed potato.

The Night Safari was quite an experience. We had to ride a tram which toured the entire zoo. But it was so realistic that the animals weren't really in cages but rather wandering freely within their habitats -- but far of course from the spectators. Some were even at arms reach from the tram, you could actually touch them. It was so nice... surreal but nice... hehe.

photos here.

Day 4 (Sunday) SENTOSA DAY!!!

Yey! My most awaited Sentosa Trip finally came. I didn't actually knew that we were actually going here because Kai kept on teasing me about not having it in the plan. I knew she was just playing (^_^) I'd say this was the most tiring of the days we've spent going around Singapore.
I had to get up early (well, 7:30 am felt really early because it was still a bit dark) to meet a colleague who's helping me with the magazine in Singapore. Work in other words. And I actually thought I've escaped it. Sheeshhh... I brought him a bulk of magazines and some media kit. A breakfast meeting (where I wasn't really able to touch my food) at Ya Kun Kaya where unni and Kai sat just a few tables away from me, totally enjoying a relaxing morning. The meeting didn't actually last long and in less than an hour, we were already on our way to Vivo City. From there, we took the cable car to Sentosa Island. I was like a kid who was given a truck-load of toys that Kai was actually teasing me: "Birthday mo?" Well, I was really planning to spend my last birthday in Singapore but I was broke at that time, so yea, it's my birthday. =)

The cable car ride was an awesome experience; it felt like watching the world from the sky. It looked really peaceful with the sun spreading its rays to both ends of the horizon. I actually loved it there. We saw the Star Cruises, which I hope I could ride someday. Hmmm... I have to save first for that. First stop at Sentosa was the food kiosk... hehe... I was really hungry 'coz I wasn't able to eat breakfast, then the Underwater World. The place was really impressive -- I've never seen so much sea creatures in my life-- crabs, all kinds of fishes, sharks, jellyfish, stingrays, etc. It was my first time to see a 'dugong'. Pathetic no? Contrary to what I thought that it looked fierce and scary (Thanks to Malou de Guzman in Marina), it actually looked gentle and very very cute.

Then a walk to Siloso beach. It wasn't really neat (the water actually looked murky) but there were a lot of beach bummers basking in the hot afternoon sun. But the highlight of the Sentosa trip was the Dolphin Show where I got the chance to touch Jumbo the dolphin. There were a lot of people but when the host of the show started asking for a volunteer from the audience, I literally jumped from my seat, waved my hands frantically and, finally, caught his attention. The deal was to touch the dolphin and described to the audience how it felt. I so wanted to do more than that, probably swim with the dolphin in my jeans and play with it, but no. It was nice though... really nice and it made me really really happy.

By late afternoon, we looked like vagrants... hehe. We were sweaty and dirty and needed a good bath. So happy we brought extra shirts. We went around Vivo City, splurging the last of our cash since that was the only time left to buy 'pasalubong'. I love Sale!!! Great Sale!!! I was able to bought two pairs of shoes for less than a thousand pesos. Neat. I think the sale will be up until the end of July so good riddance for the shoppaholics out there... =)

We went back to Bugis and to the old place where we had our first dinner. Unfortunately, it was closed so we ended up eating in a nearby stall, which also served extremely delicious chili noodles. And that was that... we went home, tired but wanting the day never to end. I haven't had enough of Singapore and four days is too short.

photos here.

Day 5 (Monday) Going home

Our flight was at 7:20 am and it was still dark (you'd think it was only 3am) when we went to the airport so I didn't see much of Singapore. I honestly didn't want to go back yet, knowing what's waiting for me back in Manila and boy, was I sooo right.

Dahil cute kami... v(^_^)v

Got this picture taken at Timezone Glorietta this afternoon with one of my most favorite people in the whole world... v(^_^)v For without this monkey... errrr... guy (pala) this will be such a boring and peaceful place.

Minsan lang yan... hehe...

At the zoo.

Wow. After 17 long years, I got to go back to Manila Zoo again. As my friend Wayne lovingly puts it, I am such a pathetic loser. Gagung yun. What can I do? Going there to see a bunch of animals isn't really in my priority list; and what would I need an animal for when I see him every single day? hehe... peace Wayne.

And so this afternoon, we went to Manila Zoo. Our company will have an outreach program in an orphanage and they will bring the kids to the zoo. But since I will not be around at that time (to my dismay! I love outreach programs!), Wayne brought me along to his "Ocular Inspection" daw. Yea, right.

And though I was really excited at first and thankful that Wayne-ski brought me along, my initial 15 minutes of endless walking around empty and unkempt cages actually tired me off. Not to mention, the whole place sort of stunk... Sabi nga niya, "Helleeeeerrr... zoo kaya ito?!?" And half the time, I was clinging like crazy to his bag, afraid that a man carrying a snake would just pop out from nowhere. I swear I'd die right there and then.

We don't even have a decent camera to 'record' one of the most forgettable moments of my life... hehe. Thanks to our camera phones, we were able to take a few shots. Here's some of the animals I saw...

A sleeping bearcat sticking out its tongue...

A bunch of shy peacocks

Cuddly rabbits (& hamsters)

Big Fish! (Arwana) It's sooo big I swear I could ride on its back...

And my most favorite... tadaaaannnn...

Errr... I was actually talking about the ostrich. Pramis. tee-hee...

Getting hitched 101

Jay Chou's Hui Dao Guo Qu (Return to the Past) MV.

It's nice. Cute nung girl... (parang ako... hehe). I wish I have her guts... and I wish it's this easy to get yourself a "faffy"... kahit kamukha lang ni Jay Chou *ahahaha*

Come and gone... then came again.

This post is eight hours delayed.

I literally jumped out of bed the moment I opened my eyes and realized that today is yet again another Business Unit Heads meeting and I'm in for another bashing treat from my boss who just came back from an out-of-the-country business trip. I had a migraine... a blinding one but then again, i had to force myself to go to the office.

Surprise. Surprise. The ogre seems to be in an okay mood today. No shouting, there wasn't much bashing. I was actually preparing for myself for something worse; but I guess God loves me too much that he spared me the agony (headache and all). I can never thank him enough.

I had lunch with ChinChin at my favorite restaurant in Greenbelt - Kitchen ano pa?!? =) It was nice... that feeling of just being with a friend on a humid Saturday afternoon, eating to our tummies' content and just talking. No bullshitting, just plain old tsismisan asaran talk. We talked about work, about issues, about movies, about Singapore, about our passion to be out there in the world, about our non-existent (but probably existent) lovelives and a lot of other things. It seemed surreal that about a couple of weeks ago, we weren't even talking and now, it's back to the old us. I definitely wouldn't trade this for anything.

However, it is just so sad to be yet in another situation where you're being torn away from another person just because there are situations where you just can't find your place. You seemed confuse, you feel bad, you're easily offended... I feel those right now. And I hope I can get pass through them without having to let go of the so-called friendship.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a happy blog. I am that anyway... or atleast I try to be.

Mean-ie me.

The golden rule says: "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you." I strongly believe in this passage that I sort of made it my own rule in life. But there are certain instances where I've totally shut it off and does some unfair things to others. I am not your all-too-good-ms-goody-two-shoes but I definitely know what's right and what's wrong and what's extremely evil. I mean, welcome to the real world.

These past few days, I think I am becoming totally mean. I believe it's just clean innocuous fun when we make fun of others or I choose to revert to my glorified-maldita attitude just because I feel like doing so. But sometimes I feel guilty about these.

I just can't help it when I can't bring myself to be instantly nice to others especially if I've heard something bad about a person. I guess it's just my natural reaction. I'm not Ms. Congeniality but I can be super nice too once I get close to a person that sometimes I have the tendency to be too attached and be extremely hurt when the so-called friendship begins to fade away.

And so, my point is???

Nothing really. I just feel guilty about being an occasional meanster. For instance

1. There's this new guy in our office (name withheld) who smells really bad. I, myself, stands witness to this so-called claim because well, my nose gets vandalized every time he's within my proximity. Nobody in the office (including me) wants to get near him and I think it's really mean. Some even says really really offensive things about him. In our office outing last weekend, I felt pity for him because he seemed a little out of place.

2. There's this girl in the office who has a 'reputation' and because of that I don't really talk to her. I haven't even say a single word to her since she came in last week. Just because I don't like her. I've tried putting myself in her shoes and realized that it probably isn't her fault that she's like that. She still deserves respect like everybody does. And so I promise to be nicer every chance I'd get.

3. I can be totally bitchy towards someone if I feel that the person has offended me (with our without him / her knowing it). The worse part is I really don't give a sh*t about the consequences. So, I'll try to be a little more sensitive when it comes to this.

I'm no angel and that's the truth. But I don't want my conscience tugging at me every once in a while too. As much as possible, I want a clean one. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I want to be nice.

This is my now

This is a very nice song from AI Season 6. I like Jordin Sparks' version better. But hey, i still love Blake (",)

THIS IS MY NOW

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.

Nagsimula and lahat kay Apeng Daldal.

A random conversation between Thet and Gela one boring Tuesday afternoon.

(Thet flipping through the pages of a magazine. Sees a photo of a guy who looks like a quintessential 'intsik beho'. Gets excited and turns to Gela)

Thet: Gela! 'Di ba mahilig ka rin sa oriental looking? (Tries very hard to conceal a shippish grin)

Gela: (Looking up from her PC) Ewww... kadiri, kamukha ni Apeng Daldal! (Imaagine her uttering these words continuously without even breathing)

Hehe.

Now, my question is: Who the friggin' f*ck is Apeng Daldal? Who is Chichay? Chichay by the way looks like one of our officemates (according to she-devil Gela). Unfortunately, I can't remember Chichay's face; but I do know who Gela's referring to. Bad bad bad. =P

***

Then, there's this long list of song bloopers from myself and some, I heard people singing (with great conviction!). In my case, believe me, I'm just being honest; obviously i got the lyrics wrong (and I know they are because they don't make any sense) but it's just funny... =) Sample nga!

From 98 Degrees' Hardest Thing
Original Lyrics: Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending
Thet's Lyrics: Sama ka sa Chicago (C'mon hey...)

From Earth Wind and Fire's Every Now and Then
Original Lyrics: Every now and then, I find myself wondrin' about you baby
Girl in the bathroom lyrics: Every now and then, you are my prind... hmmm... hmmmm...

From All For One's I Swear
Original Lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I swear by the shadow that's by your side
My friend's lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars up above
And I swear by the shadow that's following around (whaaat???)

Hehe. Patikim pa lang yan. I just want to make myself smile.

Sickly miming and a zillion other thoughts.

Wow. It’s raining. It really is! I wouldn’t say that this is the first rain of the season but this is the first rain that I had actually seen and touched. The first one was when I was imprisoned in the office and the other one, while I was sleeping like a baby, trying to bear an excruciating migraine. I’m just so happy it rained =)During such times, there’s nothing more home-my than a cup of soup, watching Conan O’Brian laughing like a madcow on the tube and me on my bed, covered in pillows. *Sigh*

On with my story. Once again, I took a sick leave because I have a loose bowel movement (yep, LBM) and I’ve been throwing up all my guts out since this morning. I had this horrible feeling the moment I was awakened by a stomach-ache at around 5 am. It must be something I ate yesterday. My sister was actually as sick as I am but I guess she’s gutsy enough to still go to work in that condition. I, on the other hand, submitted to my weak persona and decided to just rest. Anyway, my dad’s also home so I have a company. This morning, I was all set to go to work – did take a bath, I was all dressed-up and then… bummer…. my stomach growled again and I spent the next 30 minutes inside the loo, hanging on for dear life. It felt like all my insides were meaning to get out. It was horrible.

I’ve just noticed how I am becoming a ‘sickly miming’ these past few weeks – migraine, allergic-rhinitis, muscle pains, chest pains and nausea, and now, digestive problems. Am I becoming unhealthy? The last time I went to the doctor was during our office annual check up (last January I think) and there wasn’t any bad diagnosis. So I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Probably, tiring myself – physically and emotionally – is already taking its toll on me. I’ve been thinking about gazillion of things these days (and you’d wonder where the hell am I digging up such kind of thoughts) and it really is tiring. Sometimes I feel so restless and there’s this heavy lump inside, sort of an air-passage block that I think I could just scream and cry out. I want to know if I am nearing a nervous breakdown of some sort so if I really am, I can still do something about it. Whenever people ask me what makes my life difficult these days, I’d stare out into space and rummage through my head if everything in my life right now is really that bad. I always get the same answers – nothing in my life is wrong; it’s the way I handle them that is.

I always think of myself as that happy person who can always carry the cross no matter how big it may be. And I was. But right now, I think I am just a person who – just like everyone else – Jesus carried the cross for because there are times that I just can’t. My conscience fires up every time I succumb to hopelessness, hatred and envy because there are more people out there who are currently in more life-threatening situations than me. It somehow tells me that I have no reason to anguish, or if there is, I have a lot more reasons to celebrate life because I still have a lot of blessings. I need to count them again to remind me how lucky I am. And with these in mind, I find reasons to regain my strength and go out into the world with higher hopes this time.

election blah.

This post is three days overdue.

I remember writing a couple of paragraphs yesterday and saving it as draft but when I opened my blog... voila... it was... gone! Haay...

Anyway, I was writing something about the elections and my anticipation of who's going to be given the political scepters once again. On top of that, I would like to know if Chiz Escudero will be topping the hoard. I like him a lot. =)

In the last couple of days since the elections, I've been browsing through all possible sources of quick counts, surveys, exit polls and whatnot (yihee... whatnot daw o...) On a hopeful note, I just want the elections over and done with. No matter how grandiose the press releases are on its becoming a little more peaceful than the previous ones, I'd still say bullsh*t.

More than a hundred cases of election-related crimes have already been reported and still counting. The same old crap on who's being cheated and who's cheating are still plaguing news everywhere. Yesterday, I watched Manny Pacquiao protesting about election returns that allegedly violates COMELEC rules and, therefore, should be considered void. Talk about being desperate. I heard his contender knocked him out. Nothing against him but I just think he's not for politics. We have so much nincompoops sitting their bums to numbness already both in the senate and the congress. Need I say more?

And then, this morning, I watched Anthony Taberna grill this Comelec official about their sudden decision to question broadcast companies on the media counts. They smell propaganda in the air; I smell conspiracy.

But then again, I promised myself that I'd be less interested in this kind of things. I've got enough worries to keep myself locked in hell for about a lifetime. I am just thankful that no more low-budgeted annoying election jingles will wake me up in the morning; there will be no more unfamiliar faces or strangers wearing brightly-colored vests with screaming 'Vote for WHOEVER!' will suddenly shake my hand and ask me to vote for the a**wipe; I'll be able to watch the local channels without these political ads popping up every nano second; no more pro-penoy... ay, pinoy pala =)

I am just so happy.

Now, I wonder if faffy Chiz Escudero will still make it to the top.

Home Arrest

I woke up this morning with a blinding headache. I can't even open my eyes because it was too painful; it felt like the light could blind me. I was also feeling nauseous that I wanted to throw-up. My sister said it was probably a migraine. I think it has got to do with my eyes. I probably need to visit my eye doctor again... tsk.

Since I was literally a walking zombie, I stayed home and slept literally the whole day. This felt good because I haven't had a decent sleep in the last few days. Note to self: Never drink Sulawesi coffee and Vanilla Affogato combined when you're just a few hours away from hitting the sack; you'll have a hard time getting the shut eye! I got the nagging from Gela yesterday that I only got to drink one (one!) cup the whole day. It was painful.

I can't help but feel a little guilty for taking the time off from work today. I now I sound like a martyr-moron but I've got piles of pending work sitting like sh*t on my table. It feels weird that during those times that I sit on my huge bonbon chair at work, my bum feels like being grilled that I can't wait to get away from it. Funny, now I miss it.

Somehow it feels liberating to just forget about work and indulge in the things that I so love to do like sleeping, watching K-Dramas the whole day, reading and munching on junkfood 'till my tummy aches. But I know I always can't so I'm taking this sweet time off from work to somehow please myself. I've always wanted a long vacation. No, not the out-of-town or out-of-the-country type, (though that would be lovely)but just a vacation at home, bumming myself out 'till I realize how sweet the outside world is.

Saranghe Unni.

It may not show because I am the mother of all 'malditas' and the so-called prodigal daughter in our family, but I love my Ate Lani more than anybody else in the world. =) She's been my twin sister (despite our three-year gap). She's always been the understanding one between us two; I've always been the little devil.

Unni...


I know in about a year you'll get married and I'll be alone. I'm so used to sharing a room with you; sharing everything with you. And do you know? I get jealous over someone else getting your attention? Yes, I am that brat who always want my big sister by my side no matter what. I am that selfish little twerp who wants everything for herself with my big sister giving me that approving nod.

You'll always be my pink five and I, your yellow four. (Yep, kuya will still be that bratty blue three). We'll always gush about Cha Tae Hyun and Kim Jae Won and watch Korean dramas & movies together. We'll always submit to our childish whim to go gaga over Taiwanese and Japanese boybands and Hallyu actors. To me, we are forever juvenile.

I'm sorry I always make you cry. I throw your things away (or even throw things at you) when we fight. I'm sorry I was cruel to all your ex-boyfriends (by the way, I didn't like all of them). I'm sorry you have to say sorry to me first even if sometimes I was the one who created the mess. Mian hamnida unni.

Happy Birthday! Aylachu. MWAH! v(^_^)v

Insomnia leads here.

haaayyyy... my life's been one big drain these past few days. I feel like I've been a walking zombie. Ironically though, I really can't understand how I feel - confused, angry, mad, sad, frustrated, etc. I hate it that I'm becoming a pessimist.

I miss being happy. I miss laughing like it would be my last. I miss a lot of people. I even miss people whom I get to see everyday. I miss talking about dreams and what-we-want-to-be-when-we-grow-old-and-withered kind of conversations. I miss hanging out at Starbucks. I miss listening to the songs that me and my friends used to play a dozen times a day without anyone of us ever complaining. I miss those quiet moments when I just stare at the far horizon (Manila Bay, that is) while listening to Pachelbel Canon in D. I miss buying breakfast at Mr. Donuts and eating lunch from Jolly Jeep.

Then again, it's probably not these things that I've mentioned that I miss. I just probably miss the old times; the way it was - my comfort zone.

Harry Potter goes 'bold'

Harry Potter decided to throw away his invisibility cloak and bare his all right before the Londoners' [hungry] eyes in Peter Shaffer's award-winning stage play, Equus. A friend who's now working in London told me this play was so publicized that tabloids featuring photos of a butt-naked Daniel were everywhere. I wish he got me a copy... hehe.







Hmm... he's got a girl here too...





whoa... nice tush!

Haay...yayay!

I've checked my YM for about five times in a span of two minutes and yes... he's still online... yaikss! Mag-'hi' na kase. Geez, I really want to strangle myself for being so affected. It's been so long. Move on. Forget about him. ANUBA!

Anyway, that was just a commercial.

The real point of this whole blog thing is... I don't know. I guess I just want to recount the things that happened to me in the week that was =) It was tiring. I was working 'til my eyes were chinky (whoa!) hehe. Nevertheless, it was peaceful. I haven't seen much of the walking nightmare. I'm sure you know who I'm referring to. Made my life a lot more easier v(^_^)v

This morning, we had the usual Business Unit Heads Meeting (or as my officemates put it: Bullshit Session). I was surprised I wasn't grilled. The ogre wasn't in a bad mood this morning (whatever he ate); he's actually... well... not shouting.

I guess I just have to do better at what I do knowing there is no such thing as a 'job well done' in my workplace. You have to cry blood and spill out your guts before you get that thumbs up sign. I wonder if there's still blood left in me. To be very honest, nothing in that place has ever lifted my spirits up. But I wouldn't want to be further swallowed by the black hole. I want to fight it and work like this would be my last day. I love my work anyway.

Bigla akong tinamad magsulat... so next time na ulit.

Yep, he's still online. Siyet.

Bago kong fafa. Ahihi...

This guy rocks! Astig!!!!
Blake Lewis from American Idol Season 6.

TEN THINGS.

Friday, After-work April 27, 2007

INSTRUCTIONS: A person who gets tagged must write in his or her blog ten weird things or habits or little known facts about himself or herself. He or she should also state this rule clearly. At the end, he or she should tag six other people, except the one who tagged him or her.

1. I could stare at a blank space for more than an hour (sometimes not really thinking but just... well... staring). Oh no, is this a serious sign of mental retardation?!?!?
2. I hate crying because when I do, I can't stop and it causes me to hyper-ventilate.
3. I've decided, if I like a guy, I will tell him straight in the face. I hate assuming and hoping like crazy only to find out that the feeling is not mutual. Ouch!
4. I have this weird habit of reading three to four books at a time (annoys me actually)
5. I could finish up a korean drama series in one shot (ahahaha... adik!)
6. I never thought I could HATE someone this much until I met the ogre. F*cktard!!!
7. One of my ultimate dreams is to be a housemaid (yes, as in katulong) in a filthy rich (as in dead filthy... yung tipong iba na yung moral sa sobrang yaman)family. Then I'll write some sort of an investigative thingy about it.
8. I can love and hate a person at the same time. As a matter of fact, I do like this guy a lot when I don't see him, when he's just quiet... but when he starts opening his mouth, I sort of hate him like that (thet snapping her fingers)
9. I am fascinated by Cho Seung-Hui's words, but not (definitely not!) by what he did.
10. I'd like to be a volunteer in Cambodia, Somalia or in some distant depressed countries, travel the world and learn all types of culture and heritage. Then I'll have another blog for it.

I tag Gela, Kai, Tina, Edward, Cristine and Katrine.

Dreams.

Sometimes I hate it when I remember what I dreamt of because I know it was just... well... a dream. Nothing more. But sometimes, my mood for the day depends a lot on whatever my dream was and if I remember it at all.

I used to tell people I think I have the gift of instinct. I feel like my dreams confirm what I think about someone or something. It's weird... I sound like a scheizo I know but that's just an opinion. I am not saying it's true =) Yea, I'd like to believe it's true, if it is then, I would be a world-reknown psychic (not the Madam Auring and Jojo Acuin types) just like Nostra Damus. Ahahaha... dream on.

It amazes me how my reality morphs into a dream; the exact replica of what is really happening. SOmetimes, I feel relieved, sometimes it saddens me. But then again, nobody really knows what will happen.

Murphy's Law.

I first heard this adage from my friend, Edward (also my layout artist for Asian Quaity Magazine) one exhausting afternoon of trying to figure out what to do with our magazine's design. We've been caught up in atleast a couple of bad situations, practically hindering what's supposed to be accomplished. Edward said: "Nami-Murphy's Law tayo!" I, in my all cluelessness replied: "Nawa-what???" He sort of explained the meaning to me; something about whatever-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong thing but I didn't actually grasp what he meant. But since then, I used it as an excuse whenever something - in the midst of may daily course of activities - goes wrong.

This morning, Na-murphy's law ako. I couldn't get a cab. It was annoyingly hot. I was late for work, blah, blah, blah. Sh*t. If Murphy's law is one big tornado, I would probably be swallowed whole.

Then, curiousity kills the cat (meowww!)so I looked up the definition of Murphy's Law. Wikipedia says:

Murphy's law is a popular saying in Western culture that broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way." The saying is sometimes referred to as Sod's law. Finagle's law, which can be rendered as "Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment," is a variation.

***

Anyway, I went to a wake last night. My former editor's mom died. The cause: heat stroke. Scary. My heart goes out to my former mentor who is such a kind-hearted and good-natured person. If it weren't really for my financial woes before, I'd stay in her company, grow with the values that she instilled upon me as a writer. I haven't thanked her enough.

It was nice to be with my old office buddies. We had our times, then we parted ways. I thought I'd never be seeing them again. But God has his ways.

Cheesy but I like it.

I never really appreciated the song until now. Why am I such a crybaby? I think it is probably because my eyes are big that they tend to spill gallons of tears.

Note to self: My eyes aren't exactly blue... far from it actually.

Blue eyes blue (Eric Clapton)

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forevers come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heavens gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Holy Week in Bora.

I thought I'd never get to see Boracay until May. Thanks to Rodney, my officemate and we (Ate Lani, Mike, Marvin & myself) were able to go last Thursday with an itsy-bitsy budget... but then, we were able to survive.. haha! I was truly feeling half-hearted though because we had to leave mom and pop alone to tend on the whole annual "Pabasa" thing which they had been doing for as long as I can remember. It was a tradition passed on by my granny to my mom. Anyway, I was actually glad mom and pop didn't disapprove of our plan, especially it was [scheduled] on the Holy Week pa.

Day 1 (Maundy Thursday)
As usual, I had a hard time deciding on what and what not to bring. I think I packed an entire luggage that could last me a week. I almost killed Rodney when I learned that we’ll be staying there two days only (two days!!!). Funny, I didn't even check my ticket for the departure date.
Anyway, we boarded M/S San Paolo, NN's funship that would take us to Boracay around 3pm and it left about an hour later. It was amusing to see the mix of people aboard the ship - there were "cono kids" (a lot of them actually) and the usual haggard-looking people… in a more blatant term, mga jologs. I even saw a bunch of European backpackers at the “Tatami area” a.k.a glorified economy class. Then there were these cute Chinese guys that were walking tirelessly, touring the entire ship, obviously first-timers. Our group actually was room-less for an hour before Angie (Rodney’s gf who works for NN) actually scored us a “Business Class” room which actually fits four people only. So the six of us stayed together in one room; it wasn’t really bad… it was actually comfortable enough. Except for the fact that we had to use the common bath room so I had to get out of our room in the middle of the night to pee. Whew.
Contrary to what I was claiming that it wasn’t boring to take a ship for a 12-hour ride to Boracay, I was actually bored to my wits. There wasn’t much to do in this funship but stay in the sun deck with your iPod on while gazing on the boundless view of the sea and the angry waves that seem to want to topple the ship over, stay in your room and watch whatever movie is being aired on the tube, or read a book, or EAT. And so I ate… ate a lot, forgetting about a week of dieting to fit into my swimsuit. I munched away my boredom. By 11pm, my cabin-mates were already fast asleep. I was still wide awake because I could feel the strong waves wanting to swallow the whole ship.

Day 2 (Good Friday)
It wasn’t good at all. We arrived in Caticlan around 6am. There was a lot of waiting. Waiting for the others to disembark, waiting for my sis’ friggin’ ex-officemate and her friends, waiting in line to buy the tickets, environmental fee, terminal fee, etc., waiting for the multi-cab that would take us from Cagban port to Station 2 (they have this new rule that all tourists going to Boracay should disembark in Cagban port only and not directly in whatever stations they’re going to stay in) and most of all, waiting to get a room / a space where we can stay. God bless Rodney and Angie, they didn’t reserve a room knowing how difficult it is to get one on a peak season like this. Grrr… Anyway, we did get a room in Station 3. I didn’t even know what the place was called. It was good though. Fits all of us six, perfectly. I was just sooo frustrated knowing that I only got two days to enjoy my vacation and a quarter of it was already wasted just waiting. I was tired but I’d say staying in Boracay was all worth it. And this was already my 4th time. I’d probably never get tired of coming back. The rest of the activities were usual – bumming around the beach, checking out cute guys (who unfortunately were either taken or gay), sunbathing, pigging out, swimming, etc.
Then…
I had my period. Nice.
Sucks, I know. But instead of moping, I tried to enjoy my stay. Pics here.

Day 3 (Black Saturday)
Jesus Christ was dead. We woke up on a rainy Saturday morning. Wow, it was raining in Boracay. For me, it seemed surreal. We had breakfast – noodles and coffee and chips. The rain stopped abruptly. The sun, as though having its sweet revenge, shone like it was the last. It was really hot. So, with my period and all, I put on my swimsuit and had a nice (though tiring) walk on the beach with my kuya. We went to the far end of Station 3 where there’s a magnificent view of caves and rocks and trees. Then, walk all the way back to Station 2 where we’re planning to have our lunch as usual. My legs were hurting but it really didn’t matter. I also had a nice whole body massage by the beach (as I promised myself). I was planning to go on a banana boat ride but decided against it.
We spent the rest of the day eating, shopping for goodies, some pasalubong and just bumming (again) by the beach. I so love it, I could bum around the whole day – with a good music on, a good read and some chips to munch on. After all, I am not a beach bummer for nothing, ‘ayt?
By 4pm, we were already on our way back to Cagban port. Goodbye Boracay. Our stay was really that short and somehow, I still didn’t want to go. But I had no choice. We waited until 7pm for M/S San Paolo – the same ship took us back to Manila. As we boarded the ship, I had nothing else in mind but sleep and rest. Not to mention, I had sun burn all over and it hurts. Did I mention, I fell asleep while having my massage that half my face (atleast the part that’s not covered by my sunglass) is sun-kissed. I look like a raccoon. Stupid is stupid does. More pics here.

Day 4 (Easter Sunday)
Happy Easter and we’re back in Manila!

Disgruntled.

Grr... my computer went dead (aysshhh!) Anyway, I was suppose to post this one a week ago when I was feeling really really down -- like I was having some sort of a quarter-life crisis. But hey, I feel good now =)

The past few days have been very unhealthy for me -- emotionally, physically and spiritually. I was a wreck; a miserable soul who could snap (loose screws) at any moment. Seriously, I was afraid I'd just snap like that *thet snapping her fingers*

It was all too much. Thanks to Gela, my dear friend who keeps me sane amidst this chaotic phase and her own craziness; I survive... Aza!

I was too disheartened and stressed about work that all I had were evil thoughts about the nasty ogre (you know whom I referring to) and this dark, cold, psyche-battering place called 'hell'. Need I say more? Nah.

Anyway, a week has passed and I feel like I already came to my senses. After days of crying (I am really such a tear-jerker), staring at blank spaces for what seemed like eternity, I am back to my old self- perky, bubbly, happy.

But I still hate every person who's making my life miserable. I'll get back at you.

Old feelings... (summer na!) Ang Labo.

I swear I could curse here all I want but my internet connection wouldn't improve one bit. I've been infront of the monitor the moment I woke up because of that letcheng business plan that I have to submit to the ogre. I don't want to give it on Monday; I want it done ASAP. kung pwede nga lang isampal sa ngala-ngala niya, ginawa ko na.... (ayshhhh...)

Anyway, I don't want to take things the negative way but I feel that worse feeling of 'losing' someone again. Well I hope, it's just me who's pathetically thinking about it; I hope it's just another paranoia from my end. I mean, the feeling is too familiar to miss - it's like a gush of wind - you could never go wrong; it could totally mess up your hair (whew.. ang labo ng metaphor ko). Okay, now... I don't want to say anything more... Mum's the word.

Then, there's this someone whom I thought I already forgotten. My, my , my... was I really wrong. It's as if that void wasn't there at all. It's like we're on that same time, the exact same moment. Nothing's changed. And I'm surprising myself a lot -- why do I love the feeling?

***

It's really hot!!! Summer na!!! Boracay! Galera! Camiguin! Coron! Anilao! Matabungkay! Hinulugang-taktak! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! Ahahahaha... I was just kidding about the last two...

Our office is planning a summer outing and I was the one tasked to organized everything. Funny thing is that when somebody asks me excitedly where we are going, me and my evil counterpart, Ladyholden, enjoys deflating their high hopes by replying "Matabungkay o kaya Hinulugang Taktak" hihihi. But seriously, I'm goign for Galera... Sana (keeping both my fingers crossed) 'coz it's the closest thing to Boracay (which I'm never gonnna see until May) and I suspect that our budget could only afford. Even doubt about it.

Anyway, the damn PDF AQ File that I've been downloading the last two hours hasn't moved one bit. I give up. Siyet.

Post B-day Chuva.

PARA MASAYA!

Photo and video editing at onetruemedia.com

March 12, 2007

It's my birthdaaaaayyyyy!!!





Mom says I was born at exactly 12:45 am...

I dunno but I really am extremely happy whenever this day approaches. Probably, I've never been thankful that I am here... I have a pretty normal and decent life and I am with the people whom I cherish the most.

And for this... I could never thank God enough.

My family was kind'a excited too... we celebrated a day earlier. I spent half my day in 168 Mall though, hoping to buy some good finds. On the way there, I came across these street children who were happily wallowing in the big fountain by the Binondo Plaza. They were shouting "Ate, ate, picture naman jan!" And so with my ever-reliable Samsung Camera-phone, I froze that wonderful scene in time.



Hmm... 25 years is really not that bad... I would say I've done a lot of good things already that could win me a de luxe reservation at the book of life up there (hehe). I am still living with my parents but I have a pretty good pay and a job that I love. (Although you know for a fact that I wouldn't consider whom or where I really work for a blessing). And yes, by the way, I am still single. How many more years should I endure before I get hitched again (not that I am too eager to be). I just miss the feeling... nyahaha!



I have a lot of wishes. And first on my list is WORLDPEACE. Seriously, not trying to be Ms. America (or Philippines) at all... but hey, we needed that badly.

Waaahhh... I am so delayed...

Nope... I am not talking about my period... So there's no fear of me being pregnant or whatsoever (ano yun, immaculate conception? hahaha!)

Anyway, the 3rd issue of Asian Quality is sooooo delayed. Probably it's my fault... I basked too much on procrastination that this is what I'm getting now. Hmmm.. probably my current 'confusion' about my 'work' is also adding up to this.

I am (or was?) suppose to transfer to this newswire company but it hasn't (didn't?) materialized yet. The girl I am talking to in the company told me she's giving me a call back this week. But I had doubts about it. Not because they wouldn't give me the call back but because I feel not too secure in the company. They couldn't answer me when I asked about the benefits that I'll be entitled to. All I know is that I will be one of the editors who will handle monthly newsletters, interview expats, write tons of copies and nothing more.

I had a good talk with Chin-Chin last Saturday (while we were pigging out at Kitchen in Greenbelt). It wasn't that she tried to convince me to stay but she actually laid out the pros and cons. And I actually did a lot of thinking myself last Friday. As for the 'bitching' of the ogre, I guess Chin tried to do something about it, telling him how inappropriate it is. In fairness, the ogre wasn't too monstrous during our last Business Unit Heads Meeting. He was actually... in fact... smiling. Yay! The visual is still scary!

Anyway, I'm missing the whole point of this blog. I am truly concern about AQ. I've had enough of pressures but hell, do I have a choice? Whether I transfer or not, WORK ITSELF IS PRESSURE. And people work to survive, to live. It's a vicious cycle nobody can stop. Bottomline is I have vowed (once again) to focus on AQ (not the person. the person has long been dead. kidding!) and make my stay here worth it. I once told myself that I will only leave this company when my next step is really really big like going abroad. But I am not saying that I'll be here until I can bear no more. Once I see that sparkling light of opportunity, I'll be all for it. Adios hell on earth.

MUSIC & LYRICS (Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore)

I haven't seen this movie... yet... I'm already in-love with it.


Very very nice song.

lyrics - way back into love

OUR MUSIC.

Photo and video editing at onetruemedia.com

Wouldn't it be nice?

Make an online slideshow at onetruemedia.com

Trip to Cavite

My whole body aches (especially my buns... if you know what I mean), probably because of the whole ***damn nightmare ride to and from Trece Martirez, Cavite for a visit at my Aunt and Uncle's place.

See, these are the people whom we only see once in a blue moon -- during Christmas, birthdays and on very rare occasions -- since they left Makati to settle in once of those developed subdivisions springing like shitake mushrooms in the rural areas of Luzon. My uncle's not doing well; been in and out of the hospital so we've decided it's proper to show that we care.

So at around 8am, my mom, ate, 'kuya' and me were already aboard this dingy ordinary bus bound to Cavite. I was so sleepy, I didn't get to sleep until 2am (insomnia strikes again). The fact that I was pissed off that we didn't get to ride an air condition bus to save us from dusts and the pollution of Metro Manila was intensified by "Napakasakit Kuya Eddie" and "Tukso, Layuan Mo Ako" blaring on the boom box speakers on the background. We were tortured by these long playing music the whole hour and a half bus ride. It was hell. I wanted to kill Imelda Papin right there and then. And I promise to get an i-pod on my next payday!!! My sister, on the other hand, was talking nonstop about getting a car for the family to rid us of this hellish encounters every time we need to travel out of Metro Manila. Heat's probably gone up to our heads.

Well, we didn't stay long. We just ate, told some stories, played with my very cute and intelligent nephew, Sean and slept. I was so tired that I snoozed on my aunt's sofa sitting up. The moment I woke up, everybody's getting ready to leave already.

Short [and hellish] as it may seem but I should say the visit was worth it. It's hard to get along with some of our relatives but we intend to keep whatever bond is holding us [closer] with the others.

Juvenile Thet strikes again...

I am so desperate to have a photo taken with this guy (perpetually my juvenile obsession). And so, with the wonders of Photoshop, I created some magic and... voila!

Hmmmm... I think we look cute together... Nah, I think we look damn good together... Ha-ha!
Just let me indulge. This is my blog anyway v(^_^)v.

My Chocolates!

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Valentines, Oh Valentines!

Who says that Valentines Day are for couples only? Of course not. I'm happy as this is the first time in years that I felt good about all this hullabaloo everytime the Hearts Day approaches. I am actually wondering if my family is celebrating it at home right now. (Yea, I'm still in the office, finishing an ad proposal on a Valentines night... nice.) Wonder if my pop prepared a nice dinner for mom or if 'ate' bought some cake with the 'Happy Valentines!' greeting on it. But I'm pretty sure, my beloved baby brother is not giving a sh*t about all this; he's probably engrossed playing PS2 right now.

It's ironic how I didn't see too many indications that it's actually Valentines Day today but how strongly I felt it. I received a lot of greetings from friends and I just enjoyed watching some of them be surprised by a bouquet of flowers or some other sweet gestures from their significant others. Of course there are some who actually feels bad because they got nada.

This morning, my cab driver was trying really hard to strike up a conversation with me, telling me how he's been overwhelmed by the prominence of color red everywhere he looked. I was half-tempted to tell him: "baka naman ho color blind na kayo... e wala naman akong nakikitang nakapula eh..." Anyways, it was funny; he was telling me how the owner of the cab he was driving got all excited about the V-Day that he even put red seat covers and tiny little hearts at the dashboard and 'ceiling' of his cab. It was lucky I decided not to wear my red pull-over; had I worn it, I would perfectly blend in with the car seat. Yaikks!

Anyway, some people crossed my mind and I was almost convinced that I do miss them. But truth is, I don't. it's just fun thinking about them and how I used to 'share' some of these sweet moments with them...

• That guy who gave me a long stem white rose which he got from Mother Mary's altar. I heard he cried when he learned that I already left for Baguio and he missed giving me his present. Sweet chap. I would love to run into him one of these days.
• That guy who suddenly kissed me out from nowhere. (Sa cheeks lang naman, promise!) They were playing 'truth or dare' and I was busy reading some magazine beside him. He was asked to kiss the person whom he cares most about [at that time]. The bloke suddenly turned to me and without a word kissed me on the cheek! Eh bata pa ko nun... I was surprised. Well, I think that's sweet too.
• That guy who never gave me anything but heartache. Let's just say he played a big part in my teen-age years love-life. Haha. Heartbreaker, you know who you are.
  
• That guy who pretended to be my boyfriend because a yucky crewmate in McDonald's kept harrassing me to be his girlfriend. Hah, he chased the poor guy away and I ended up liking him too much that it broke my heart into pieces when I learned that he likes my best friend more than me. Sad. But happy now.
• That guy [who looks like my pop] whom I had a crush to in college; a schoolmate in UP Baguio. He has this squeaky, chipmunk-like voice that turns me off every time. But hey, he plays the guitar like Satriani *drooling* I never really got the nerve to talk to this guy.
  
• That guy who took me to see the movie 'Bourne Identity' (or Supremacy... I can't actually remember). The jerk tried to kiss me and you-know-what! right there in the middle of the Robinsons Place theatre. Ang baduy! I never saw him after that.
  
• That very first guy whom I confessed my feelings to. He told me 'I rock!' and I thought it wasn't really flattering. Nothing really happened. I think I still like him but there's something in him that turns me off. He doesn't care about me at all.
• That guy. Yes, that guy.

It's funny how I felt they were my world at some point in time and how I overcame and just shrug and smile and laugh at the idea every time I think about them now.

I love L-O-V-E. It's like the kid in us... it's silly most of the times.

HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYBODY!

MWAH!

10 Things That Make Me Unproductive At Work

10. The Heat. Our office [or at least our side] is like a living hell. The aircon hasn’t been working for more than a week now and I think the heat has been going up my head, damaging all my productive braincells. Thus, can’t think of anything sensible.

9. Busted Internet Connection. Our internet connection has been going on and off and it really pisses everybody’s mind off. Half my work depends on research and this situation leaves me helpless everytime.

8. Daydreaming. Sand. Waves. Blue skies. 2-piece swimsuit and my sunblock. I always think about getting a vacation amidst all the chaos at work that sometimes I am having a hard time snapping out of a good ‘ol day dreaming.

7. Audio from the peoples’ mouths a.k.a. NOISE. Some of my colleagues aren’t that considerate. They think everybody can concentrate even with their loud voices destroying the piece and serenity of the room. Focus is derived from silence.

6. The Presence. No, I’m not talking about anything supernatural. I am talking about the big-old-fat-ugly-scary Ogre lurking around the office. Who - in their right mind - would feel comfortable working while being criticized and bashed out?

5. Hunger. I am always hungry; I think I was an obese man in my past life. My stomach growls like crazy, I eat like a pig. I can’t work and I can’t think when I’m at this state. I think it’s pretty normal.

4. Boredom.A friend asks me, How can you be bored when you’re over-loaded with work? I don’t know either. Maybe I am getting bored about work or maybe I am just getting bored by the mere fact that I am compelled to do the same old things and listen to the same old sh*t over and over and damn over again.

3. Youtube.com. So, I am currently addicted to watching ‘My Lovely Sam Soon’ on youtube.com. Can’t get enough of Daniel Henney and Hyun Bin’s face… tee-hee. Actually whenever I crave watching someone (or something) I can’t help myself but click away right to youtube’s page… forgetting that hell, I’ve got loads to do.

2. Blogging. Hah. The thing that I love the most! I usually write blogs whenever I feel a sudden strong surge of emotion — happy, sad, mad, or simply plain -blah-. and most of the time, I am overly emotional.

1. Sleepyhead. My eyes are getting heavy… ZZzzzzzz… I always feel sleepy at work. Maybe because I’m not getting enough sleep every time because pf my damn insomnia (which I’ve been trying to battle for years now). So the good ‘ol drowsiness takes effect most often in the afternoon, specifically after lunch. Whattapig.

Which Trainspotting Character Are You???

I AM RENTON. MARK RENTON. NICE.


Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Holden Caulfield-isms...

These are just some of my favorite quotes from my male fiction counterpart, Holden Caulfield from J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye...

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."


"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."


Holden: "You know that song, 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye'?..."
Phoebe: "It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!... It's a poem. By Robert Burns."


"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."


"Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake."


"Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell."


"I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it."

"What really knocks me out is a book, when you're all done reading it, you wished the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it."


"People never believe you."


"All morons hate it when you call them a moron."


"Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad."


"When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don't go. I'm too worried to go. I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go."


"People always clap for the wrong things."


"I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though."


"I'm sort of an atheist. I like Jesus and all, but I don't care too much for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoyed the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He was alive, they were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did was keep letting Him down. I like almost anybody in the Bible better than the Disciples. If you want to know the truth, the guy I like best in the Bible, next to Jesus, was that lunatic and all, that lived in the tombs and kept cutting himself with stones. I like him ten times as much as the Disciples, that poor bastard."


"He kept saying they were too new and bourgeois. That was his favorite goddam word. He read it somewhere or heard it somewhere, Everything I had was bourgeois as hell. Even my fountain pen was bourgeois. He borrowed it off me all the time, but it was bourgeois anyway."


"Catholics are always trying to find out if you're Catholic."


"Girls. You never know what they're going to think."


"All these angels start coming out of the boxes and everywhere, guys carrying crucifixes and stuff all over the place, and the whole bunch of them - thousands of them - singing "Come All Ye Faithful" like mad. Big deal. It's supposed to be religious as hell, I know, and very pretty and all, but I can't see anything religious or pretty, for God's sake, about a bunch of actors carrying crucifixes all over the stage. When they all finished and started going out the boxes again, you could tell they could hardly wait to get a cigarette of something. I saw it with old Sally Hayes the year before, and she kept saying how beautiful it was, the costumes and all. I said old Jesus probably would've puked if He could see it."


"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world. It's impossible."

I just want to feel better.

Think this could change my 'irritated-almost-suicidal' mood to feeling nowwwmal again. . .

Yea, it probably can...

To the Purgatory and Back.

I just got off from an excruciating four-hour meeting with other business unit heads in the company. It wasn't actually an almost 'hellish' encounter until the ogre showed up. I guess God loves me too much that it wasn't me who was presenting when he barged in to the conference room. It was the 'Spawn'. Poor guy, he got a lot of bashing right there and then. Even if the ogre was claiming he wasn't really mad... hell, we think he is. Poor spawnie guy, almost eaten up by the earth where he stood from too much shame. I don't normally symphatize with him but I have already been under the same situation with the ogre and it was soooo horrific that I cried after... well, at least not infront of him.

He reminds me of the leprechaun who has no room for other things in his mind but money. It's so sad. I mean, busines is really business; we need to make profit, earn to at least break even and better if we will make tons of cash to sustain the business and fill in all our material needs. But there is a very tangible line between reasonable goals and targeting the impossible. A person can only do so much.

Take my case for instance. He's giving me the '123' whenever we're talking about revenues for this magazine. But I guess he really is 'babo' for not comprehending the very simple rule about going into the publishing business - 'be prepared to lose in the first few months (even years) of your publication. This is a tough business. We don't go bullying people to advertise in our magazine at a whim. We have to wait. PATIENTLY. But I'm not saying that we have the luxury to be bummers. We have to work hard towards this goal -- build a network and work on the visibility and credibility (worthy contents) of the magazine. But the ogre just doesn't get this. I guess his mind is too clouded with thoughts about money that he becomes irrational.

I really am pissed off. Maybe I should start looking for another job.

AQ's 2nd issue

Wow... can't believe, work's been really paying off... AQ's 2nd issue is out at
last.
My good 'ol critics tell me this looks way way better than the first one (content, layout, printing and the whole package) and I yea, what can I say, it actually is.

But hey, I owe AQ to those people who were there from the beginning; those witnesses to the birthpains and hellish everyday encounters when it was yet to come out. AQ wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for these guys. And for that, Saranggaeyo!!!

Hmm... now I wonder how many eons will go before we see the third issue...

Five more minutes to dreamland

Cruel insomnia strikes again. This anticipated sorrow had me ever since I can remember. I am trying to justify that my overdosing of caffeine doesn’t have anything to do with this but my conscience tells me otherwise. The clock ticks… five more minutes before 12 midnight and I am here, tiring myself too much to hasten my journey to dreamland. Sad, but I couldn’t escape.

I pity myself; I’m a total loser – bad sleeping habits, mercurial temper, a food junkie, a junk food junkie, a caffeine addict, a hopeless romantic, a she-devil in an angel suit, a wild Goddess tamed by the merciless reality called fate. I am all that.

But none of these can make me who I want to be. At this point, the horizon still seems boundless. I can’t see where will I be heading two, three years from now. I want to be somewhere far… a place where the earth looks like heaven and the heaven is reachable and touchable and the clouds can be scooped like giant pure white cotton candy. I want to be neighbors with Harry Potter, bestfriends even, so I can borrow his wand and make all things magical.

I want a pillow of twigs and a blanket of soil; the sound of the sea breeze humming sweet lullabies far more relaxing than that of Schubert.

At last, I want to sleep.

Jay Chou can make me cry

I didn't know I am capable of being miserable for two straight weeks without letting anybody know of my predicament. My head's been bloated with sad thoughts and my heart's starting to get numb from too much pain. And I am getting numb from all these, happening over and over again that sometimes I feel like getting used to it; it's becoming addictive that I didn't know I am starting to look for the pain when it's not there.

I am so sad. Probably one of the saddest moments of my life. I can't even remember how many times have I been so low. I can only remember a few but they hurt too much that I still feel that funny indescribable feeling (as if someone's pinching your heart) whenever I think about them. Now, it hurts at the same spot. This little space in my chest seems to harbor a lot of hurtful emotions that it feels so heavy and crammed up, I'm having a hard time breathing. I just want to let them all go so I could feel fine again. Never mind the tears, I never run out of them.

And now I am drowning myself to these melodies and words I can't even understand. I just feel I could loose myself in this music with the least worry of getting lost. In fact, I'd rather get lost in the beauty that I hear than snap back to reality and feel my heart ripping into pieces again.


Thanks to Jay Chou, I feel a little better now.

***

I found a letter which I wrote (probably when I was half-asleep because I couldn't remember writing it) in my journal. Am I loosing my screws?

"Funny how I fell for you, and the way you caught my eye..."

It's really funny and when I think about it, I can't help but shrug at the idea. Hypocrisy aside, I think there is still a little something inside me that is going nuts about you. And these past few days have been a painful battle on whether I should or should not like you anymore. It's weird; I think I still like you. But when you open your mouth, I hate you.
The thing is, I don't want to see you. I don't want to be around you . I don't want to hear your voice or even be near you. I don't like to talk to you. I don't want your smile anymore. Because everything about you breaks my heart into pieces.

Is there a sadder word than sad?

Eyecandy, anyone?

Cute. Cute. Cute.
This kid's really cute ... (^_^)

Whew... It's been long and I Miss You... Blog

Because the friggin' internet connection has been busted for the last two weeks, I haven't had the chance to update my precious blog... but hey, I'm back!!! Thanks to my ever-reliable dial-up connection at home =)

Things went by so fast that I all I have are just bits and pieces of what happened the last few weeks. I've been very busy at work (working on the final touch-ups for the second issue of AQ)... oh, and did I mention? AQ (the person) went back from the dead... tee-hee! Snob little dork... what did I ever see in him? Naks...

Anyway, going back to work, with Gela already with the AQ team, I'd say my workload has dropped an inch (or so); the ogre, though, hasn't changed a bit. He's still amused by the fact that he can make my life totally miserable.

Got a new hair-do... or should I call it 'bangs'-do (i just changed my kindergarten-bang-look to a side-sweep-sleek-bang style.


Whatchathink? THis might land me on the front cover of Vanity Fair... hehe... yea right... VAIN!