Mean-ie me.

The golden rule says: "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you." I strongly believe in this passage that I sort of made it my own rule in life. But there are certain instances where I've totally shut it off and does some unfair things to others. I am not your all-too-good-ms-goody-two-shoes but I definitely know what's right and what's wrong and what's extremely evil. I mean, welcome to the real world.

These past few days, I think I am becoming totally mean. I believe it's just clean innocuous fun when we make fun of others or I choose to revert to my glorified-maldita attitude just because I feel like doing so. But sometimes I feel guilty about these.

I just can't help it when I can't bring myself to be instantly nice to others especially if I've heard something bad about a person. I guess it's just my natural reaction. I'm not Ms. Congeniality but I can be super nice too once I get close to a person that sometimes I have the tendency to be too attached and be extremely hurt when the so-called friendship begins to fade away.

And so, my point is???

Nothing really. I just feel guilty about being an occasional meanster. For instance

1. There's this new guy in our office (name withheld) who smells really bad. I, myself, stands witness to this so-called claim because well, my nose gets vandalized every time he's within my proximity. Nobody in the office (including me) wants to get near him and I think it's really mean. Some even says really really offensive things about him. In our office outing last weekend, I felt pity for him because he seemed a little out of place.

2. There's this girl in the office who has a 'reputation' and because of that I don't really talk to her. I haven't even say a single word to her since she came in last week. Just because I don't like her. I've tried putting myself in her shoes and realized that it probably isn't her fault that she's like that. She still deserves respect like everybody does. And so I promise to be nicer every chance I'd get.

3. I can be totally bitchy towards someone if I feel that the person has offended me (with our without him / her knowing it). The worse part is I really don't give a sh*t about the consequences. So, I'll try to be a little more sensitive when it comes to this.

I'm no angel and that's the truth. But I don't want my conscience tugging at me every once in a while too. As much as possible, I want a clean one. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I want to be nice.