I AM A CHARACTER IN MY OWN FICTION.

The pretty-crazy life of a late 20ish career-driven, quirky, Asian drama addict who thinks she's Holden Caulfield in real life.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

This is my now

This is a very nice song from AI Season 6. I like Jordin Sparks' version better. But hey, i still love Blake (",)

THIS IS MY NOW

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Nagsimula and lahat kay Apeng Daldal.

A random conversation between Thet and Gela one boring Tuesday afternoon.

(Thet flipping through the pages of a magazine. Sees a photo of a guy who looks like a quintessential 'intsik beho'. Gets excited and turns to Gela)

Thet: Gela! 'Di ba mahilig ka rin sa oriental looking? (Tries very hard to conceal a shippish grin)

Gela: (Looking up from her PC) Ewww... kadiri, kamukha ni Apeng Daldal! (Imaagine her uttering these words continuously without even breathing)

Hehe.

Now, my question is: Who the friggin' f*ck is Apeng Daldal? Who is Chichay? Chichay by the way looks like one of our officemates (according to she-devil Gela). Unfortunately, I can't remember Chichay's face; but I do know who Gela's referring to. Bad bad bad. =P

***

Then, there's this long list of song bloopers from myself and some, I heard people singing (with great conviction!). In my case, believe me, I'm just being honest; obviously i got the lyrics wrong (and I know they are because they don't make any sense) but it's just funny... =) Sample nga!

From 98 Degrees' Hardest Thing
Original Lyrics: Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending
Thet's Lyrics: Sama ka sa Chicago (C'mon hey...)

From Earth Wind and Fire's Every Now and Then
Original Lyrics: Every now and then, I find myself wondrin' about you baby
Girl in the bathroom lyrics: Every now and then, you are my prind... hmmm... hmmmm...

From All For One's I Swear
Original Lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I swear by the shadow that's by your side
My friend's lyrics: I swear by the moon and the stars up above
And I swear by the shadow that's following around (whaaat???)

Hehe. Patikim pa lang yan. I just want to make myself smile.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sickly miming and a zillion other thoughts.

Wow. It’s raining. It really is! I wouldn’t say that this is the first rain of the season but this is the first rain that I had actually seen and touched. The first one was when I was imprisoned in the office and the other one, while I was sleeping like a baby, trying to bear an excruciating migraine. I’m just so happy it rained =)During such times, there’s nothing more home-my than a cup of soup, watching Conan O’Brian laughing like a madcow on the tube and me on my bed, covered in pillows. *Sigh*

On with my story. Once again, I took a sick leave because I have a loose bowel movement (yep, LBM) and I’ve been throwing up all my guts out since this morning. I had this horrible feeling the moment I was awakened by a stomach-ache at around 5 am. It must be something I ate yesterday. My sister was actually as sick as I am but I guess she’s gutsy enough to still go to work in that condition. I, on the other hand, submitted to my weak persona and decided to just rest. Anyway, my dad’s also home so I have a company. This morning, I was all set to go to work – did take a bath, I was all dressed-up and then… bummer…. my stomach growled again and I spent the next 30 minutes inside the loo, hanging on for dear life. It felt like all my insides were meaning to get out. It was horrible.

I’ve just noticed how I am becoming a ‘sickly miming’ these past few weeks – migraine, allergic-rhinitis, muscle pains, chest pains and nausea, and now, digestive problems. Am I becoming unhealthy? The last time I went to the doctor was during our office annual check up (last January I think) and there wasn’t any bad diagnosis. So I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Probably, tiring myself – physically and emotionally – is already taking its toll on me. I’ve been thinking about gazillion of things these days (and you’d wonder where the hell am I digging up such kind of thoughts) and it really is tiring. Sometimes I feel so restless and there’s this heavy lump inside, sort of an air-passage block that I think I could just scream and cry out. I want to know if I am nearing a nervous breakdown of some sort so if I really am, I can still do something about it. Whenever people ask me what makes my life difficult these days, I’d stare out into space and rummage through my head if everything in my life right now is really that bad. I always get the same answers – nothing in my life is wrong; it’s the way I handle them that is.

I always think of myself as that happy person who can always carry the cross no matter how big it may be. And I was. But right now, I think I am just a person who – just like everyone else – Jesus carried the cross for because there are times that I just can’t. My conscience fires up every time I succumb to hopelessness, hatred and envy because there are more people out there who are currently in more life-threatening situations than me. It somehow tells me that I have no reason to anguish, or if there is, I have a lot more reasons to celebrate life because I still have a lot of blessings. I need to count them again to remind me how lucky I am. And with these in mind, I find reasons to regain my strength and go out into the world with higher hopes this time.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

election blah.

This post is three days overdue.

I remember writing a couple of paragraphs yesterday and saving it as draft but when I opened my blog... voila... it was... gone! Haay...

Anyway, I was writing something about the elections and my anticipation of who's going to be given the political scepters once again. On top of that, I would like to know if Chiz Escudero will be topping the hoard. I like him a lot. =)

In the last couple of days since the elections, I've been browsing through all possible sources of quick counts, surveys, exit polls and whatnot (yihee... whatnot daw o...) On a hopeful note, I just want the elections over and done with. No matter how grandiose the press releases are on its becoming a little more peaceful than the previous ones, I'd still say bullsh*t.

More than a hundred cases of election-related crimes have already been reported and still counting. The same old crap on who's being cheated and who's cheating are still plaguing news everywhere. Yesterday, I watched Manny Pacquiao protesting about election returns that allegedly violates COMELEC rules and, therefore, should be considered void. Talk about being desperate. I heard his contender knocked him out. Nothing against him but I just think he's not for politics. We have so much nincompoops sitting their bums to numbness already both in the senate and the congress. Need I say more?

And then, this morning, I watched Anthony Taberna grill this Comelec official about their sudden decision to question broadcast companies on the media counts. They smell propaganda in the air; I smell conspiracy.

But then again, I promised myself that I'd be less interested in this kind of things. I've got enough worries to keep myself locked in hell for about a lifetime. I am just thankful that no more low-budgeted annoying election jingles will wake me up in the morning; there will be no more unfamiliar faces or strangers wearing brightly-colored vests with screaming 'Vote for WHOEVER!' will suddenly shake my hand and ask me to vote for the a**wipe; I'll be able to watch the local channels without these political ads popping up every nano second; no more pro-penoy... ay, pinoy pala =)

I am just so happy.

Now, I wonder if faffy Chiz Escudero will still make it to the top.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Home Arrest

I woke up this morning with a blinding headache. I can't even open my eyes because it was too painful; it felt like the light could blind me. I was also feeling nauseous that I wanted to throw-up. My sister said it was probably a migraine. I think it has got to do with my eyes. I probably need to visit my eye doctor again... tsk.

Since I was literally a walking zombie, I stayed home and slept literally the whole day. This felt good because I haven't had a decent sleep in the last few days. Note to self: Never drink Sulawesi coffee and Vanilla Affogato combined when you're just a few hours away from hitting the sack; you'll have a hard time getting the shut eye! I got the nagging from Gela yesterday that I only got to drink one (one!) cup the whole day. It was painful.

I can't help but feel a little guilty for taking the time off from work today. I now I sound like a martyr-moron but I've got piles of pending work sitting like sh*t on my table. It feels weird that during those times that I sit on my huge bonbon chair at work, my bum feels like being grilled that I can't wait to get away from it. Funny, now I miss it.

Somehow it feels liberating to just forget about work and indulge in the things that I so love to do like sleeping, watching K-Dramas the whole day, reading and munching on junkfood 'till my tummy aches. But I know I always can't so I'm taking this sweet time off from work to somehow please myself. I've always wanted a long vacation. No, not the out-of-town or out-of-the-country type, (though that would be lovely)but just a vacation at home, bumming myself out 'till I realize how sweet the outside world is.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Saranghe Unni.

It may not show because I am the mother of all 'malditas' and the so-called prodigal daughter in our family, but I love my Ate Lani more than anybody else in the world. =) She's been my twin sister (despite our three-year gap). She's always been the understanding one between us two; I've always been the little devil.

Unni...


I know in about a year you'll get married and I'll be alone. I'm so used to sharing a room with you; sharing everything with you. And do you know? I get jealous over someone else getting your attention? Yes, I am that brat who always want my big sister by my side no matter what. I am that selfish little twerp who wants everything for herself with my big sister giving me that approving nod.

You'll always be my pink five and I, your yellow four. (Yep, kuya will still be that bratty blue three). We'll always gush about Cha Tae Hyun and Kim Jae Won and watch Korean dramas & movies together. We'll always submit to our childish whim to go gaga over Taiwanese and Japanese boybands and Hallyu actors. To me, we are forever juvenile.

I'm sorry I always make you cry. I throw your things away (or even throw things at you) when we fight. I'm sorry I was cruel to all your ex-boyfriends (by the way, I didn't like all of them). I'm sorry you have to say sorry to me first even if sometimes I was the one who created the mess. Mian hamnida unni.

Happy Birthday! Aylachu. MWAH! v(^_^)v

Insomnia leads here.

haaayyyy... my life's been one big drain these past few days. I feel like I've been a walking zombie. Ironically though, I really can't understand how I feel - confused, angry, mad, sad, frustrated, etc. I hate it that I'm becoming a pessimist.

I miss being happy. I miss laughing like it would be my last. I miss a lot of people. I even miss people whom I get to see everyday. I miss talking about dreams and what-we-want-to-be-when-we-grow-old-and-withered kind of conversations. I miss hanging out at Starbucks. I miss listening to the songs that me and my friends used to play a dozen times a day without anyone of us ever complaining. I miss those quiet moments when I just stare at the far horizon (Manila Bay, that is) while listening to Pachelbel Canon in D. I miss buying breakfast at Mr. Donuts and eating lunch from Jolly Jeep.

Then again, it's probably not these things that I've mentioned that I miss. I just probably miss the old times; the way it was - my comfort zone.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Harry Potter goes 'bold'



Harry Potter decided to throw away his invisibility cloak and bare his all right before the Londoners' [hungry] eyes in Peter Shaffer's award-winning stage play, Equus. A friend who's now working in London told me this play was so publicized that tabloids featuring photos of a butt-naked Daniel were everywhere. I wish he got me a copy... hehe.







Hmm... he's got a girl here too...





whoa... nice tush!

Haay...yayay!

I've checked my YM for about five times in a span of two minutes and yes... he's still online... yaikss! Mag-'hi' na kase. Geez, I really want to strangle myself for being so affected. It's been so long. Move on. Forget about him. ANUBA!

Anyway, that was just a commercial.

The real point of this whole blog thing is... I don't know. I guess I just want to recount the things that happened to me in the week that was =) It was tiring. I was working 'til my eyes were chinky (whoa!) hehe. Nevertheless, it was peaceful. I haven't seen much of the walking nightmare. I'm sure you know who I'm referring to. Made my life a lot more easier v(^_^)v

This morning, we had the usual Business Unit Heads Meeting (or as my officemates put it: Bullshit Session). I was surprised I wasn't grilled. The ogre wasn't in a bad mood this morning (whatever he ate); he's actually... well... not shouting.

I guess I just have to do better at what I do knowing there is no such thing as a 'job well done' in my workplace. You have to cry blood and spill out your guts before you get that thumbs up sign. I wonder if there's still blood left in me. To be very honest, nothing in that place has ever lifted my spirits up. But I wouldn't want to be further swallowed by the black hole. I want to fight it and work like this would be my last day. I love my work anyway.

Bigla akong tinamad magsulat... so next time na ulit.

Yep, he's still online. Siyet.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Bago kong fafa. Ahihi...

This guy rocks! Astig!!!!
Blake Lewis from American Idol Season 6.

Friday, April 27, 2007

TEN THINGS.

Friday, After-work April 27, 2007

INSTRUCTIONS: A person who gets tagged must write in his or her blog ten weird things or habits or little known facts about himself or herself. He or she should also state this rule clearly. At the end, he or she should tag six other people, except the one who tagged him or her.

1. I could stare at a blank space for more than an hour (sometimes not really thinking but just... well... staring). Oh no, is this a serious sign of mental retardation?!?!?
2. I hate crying because when I do, I can't stop and it causes me to hyper-ventilate.
3. I've decided, if I like a guy, I will tell him straight in the face. I hate assuming and hoping like crazy only to find out that the feeling is not mutual. Ouch!
4. I have this weird habit of reading three to four books at a time (annoys me actually)
5. I could finish up a korean drama series in one shot (ahahaha... adik!)
6. I never thought I could HATE someone this much until I met the ogre. F*cktard!!!
7. One of my ultimate dreams is to be a housemaid (yes, as in katulong) in a filthy rich (as in dead filthy... yung tipong iba na yung moral sa sobrang yaman)family. Then I'll write some sort of an investigative thingy about it.
8. I can love and hate a person at the same time. As a matter of fact, I do like this guy a lot when I don't see him, when he's just quiet... but when he starts opening his mouth, I sort of hate him like that (thet snapping her fingers)
9. I am fascinated by Cho Seung-Hui's words, but not (definitely not!) by what he did.
10. I'd like to be a volunteer in Cambodia, Somalia or in some distant depressed countries, travel the world and learn all types of culture and heritage. Then I'll have another blog for it.

I tag Gela, Kai, Tina, Edward, Cristine and Katrine.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Dreams.

Sometimes I hate it when I remember what I dreamt of because I know it was just... well... a dream. Nothing more. But sometimes, my mood for the day depends a lot on whatever my dream was and if I remember it at all.

I used to tell people I think I have the gift of instinct. I feel like my dreams confirm what I think about someone or something. It's weird... I sound like a scheizo I know but that's just an opinion. I am not saying it's true =) Yea, I'd like to believe it's true, if it is then, I would be a world-reknown psychic (not the Madam Auring and Jojo Acuin types) just like Nostra Damus. Ahahaha... dream on.

It amazes me how my reality morphs into a dream; the exact replica of what is really happening. SOmetimes, I feel relieved, sometimes it saddens me. But then again, nobody really knows what will happen.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Murphy's Law.

I first heard this adage from my friend, Edward (also my layout artist for Asian Quaity Magazine) one exhausting afternoon of trying to figure out what to do with our magazine's design. We've been caught up in atleast a couple of bad situations, practically hindering what's supposed to be accomplished. Edward said: "Nami-Murphy's Law tayo!" I, in my all cluelessness replied: "Nawa-what???" He sort of explained the meaning to me; something about whatever-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong thing but I didn't actually grasp what he meant. But since then, I used it as an excuse whenever something - in the midst of may daily course of activities - goes wrong.

This morning, Na-murphy's law ako. I couldn't get a cab. It was annoyingly hot. I was late for work, blah, blah, blah. Sh*t. If Murphy's law is one big tornado, I would probably be swallowed whole.

Then, curiousity kills the cat (meowww!)so I looked up the definition of Murphy's Law. Wikipedia says:

Murphy's law is a popular saying in Western culture that broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way." The saying is sometimes referred to as Sod's law. Finagle's law, which can be rendered as "Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment," is a variation.

***

Anyway, I went to a wake last night. My former editor's mom died. The cause: heat stroke. Scary. My heart goes out to my former mentor who is such a kind-hearted and good-natured person. If it weren't really for my financial woes before, I'd stay in her company, grow with the values that she instilled upon me as a writer. I haven't thanked her enough.

It was nice to be with my old office buddies. We had our times, then we parted ways. I thought I'd never be seeing them again. But God has his ways.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Cheesy but I like it.

I never really appreciated the song until now. Why am I such a crybaby? I think it is probably because my eyes are big that they tend to spill gallons of tears.

Note to self: My eyes aren't exactly blue... far from it actually.

Blue eyes blue (Eric Clapton)

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forevers come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heavens gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Holy Week in Bora.

I thought I'd never get to see Boracay until May. Thanks to Rodney, my officemate and we (Ate Lani, Mike, Marvin & myself) were able to go last Thursday with an itsy-bitsy budget... but then, we were able to survive.. haha! I was truly feeling half-hearted though because we had to leave mom and pop alone to tend on the whole annual "Pabasa" thing which they had been doing for as long as I can remember. It was a tradition passed on by my granny to my mom. Anyway, I was actually glad mom and pop didn't disapprove of our plan, especially it was [scheduled] on the Holy Week pa.

Day 1 (Maundy Thursday)
As usual, I had a hard time deciding on what and what not to bring. I think I packed an entire luggage that could last me a week. I almost killed Rodney when I learned that we’ll be staying there two days only (two days!!!). Funny, I didn't even check my ticket for the departure date.
Anyway, we boarded M/S San Paolo, NN's funship that would take us to Boracay around 3pm and it left about an hour later. It was amusing to see the mix of people aboard the ship - there were "cono kids" (a lot of them actually) and the usual haggard-looking people… in a more blatant term, mga jologs. I even saw a bunch of European backpackers at the “Tatami area” a.k.a glorified economy class. Then there were these cute Chinese guys that were walking tirelessly, touring the entire ship, obviously first-timers. Our group actually was room-less for an hour before Angie (Rodney’s gf who works for NN) actually scored us a “Business Class” room which actually fits four people only. So the six of us stayed together in one room; it wasn’t really bad… it was actually comfortable enough. Except for the fact that we had to use the common bath room so I had to get out of our room in the middle of the night to pee. Whew.
Contrary to what I was claiming that it wasn’t boring to take a ship for a 12-hour ride to Boracay, I was actually bored to my wits. There wasn’t much to do in this funship but stay in the sun deck with your iPod on while gazing on the boundless view of the sea and the angry waves that seem to want to topple the ship over, stay in your room and watch whatever movie is being aired on the tube, or read a book, or EAT. And so I ate… ate a lot, forgetting about a week of dieting to fit into my swimsuit. I munched away my boredom. By 11pm, my cabin-mates were already fast asleep. I was still wide awake because I could feel the strong waves wanting to swallow the whole ship.

Day 2 (Good Friday)

It wasn’t good at all. We arrived in Caticlan around 6am. There was a lot of waiting. Waiting for the others to disembark, waiting for my sis’ friggin’ ex-officemate and her friends, waiting in line to buy the tickets, environmental fee, terminal fee, etc., waiting for the multi-cab that would take us from Cagban port to Station 2 (they have this new rule that all tourists going to Boracay should disembark in Cagban port only and not directly in whatever stations they’re going to stay in) and most of all, waiting to get a room / a space where we can stay. God bless Rodney and Angie, they didn’t reserve a room knowing how difficult it is to get one on a peak season like this. Grrr… Anyway, we did get a room in Station 3. I didn’t even know what the place was called. It was good though. Fits all of us six, perfectly. I was just sooo frustrated knowing that I only got two days to enjoy my vacation and a quarter of it was already wasted just waiting. I was tired but I’d say staying in Boracay was all worth it. And this was already my 4th time. I’d probably never get tired of coming back. The rest of the activities were usual – bumming around the beach, checking out cute guys (who unfortunately were either taken or gay), sunbathing, pigging out, swimming, etc.
Then…
I had my period. Nice.
Sucks, I know. But instead of moping, I tried to enjoy my stay. Pics here.

Day 3 (Black Saturday)
Jesus Christ was dead. We woke up on a rainy Saturday morning. Wow, it was raining in Boracay. For me, it seemed surreal. We had breakfast – noodles and coffee and chips. The rain stopped abruptly. The sun, as though having its sweet revenge, shone like it was the last. It was really hot. So, with my period and all, I put on my swimsuit and had a nice (though tiring) walk on the beach with my kuya. We went to the far end of Station 3 where there’s a magnificent view of caves and rocks and trees. Then, walk all the way back to Station 2 where we’re planning to have our lunch as usual. My legs were hurting but it really didn’t matter. I also had a nice whole body massage by the beach (as I promised myself). I was planning to go on a banana boat ride but decided against it.
We spent the rest of the day eating, shopping for goodies, some pasalubong and just bumming (again) by the beach. I so love it, I could bum around the whole day – with a good music on, a good read and some chips to munch on. After all, I am not a beach bummer for nothing, ‘ayt?
By 4pm, we were already on our way back to Cagban port. Goodbye Boracay. Our stay was really that short and somehow, I still didn’t want to go. But I had no choice. We waited until 7pm for M/S San Paolo – the same ship took us back to Manila. As we boarded the ship, I had nothing else in mind but sleep and rest. Not to mention, I had sun burn all over and it hurts. Did I mention, I fell asleep while having my massage that half my face (atleast the part that’s not covered by my sunglass) is sun-kissed. I look like a raccoon. Stupid is stupid does. More pics here.

Day 4 (Easter Sunday)
Happy Easter and we’re back in Manila!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Disgruntled.

Grr... my computer went dead (aysshhh!) Anyway, I was suppose to post this one a week ago when I was feeling really really down -- like I was having some sort of a quarter-life crisis. But hey, I feel good now =)

The past few days have been very unhealthy for me -- emotionally, physically and spiritually. I was a wreck; a miserable soul who could snap (loose screws) at any moment. Seriously, I was afraid I'd just snap like that *thet snapping her fingers*

It was all too much. Thanks to Gela, my dear friend who keeps me sane amidst this chaotic phase and her own craziness; I survive... Aza!

I was too disheartened and stressed about work that all I had were evil thoughts about the nasty ogre (you know whom I referring to) and this dark, cold, psyche-battering place called 'hell'. Need I say more? Nah.


Anyway, a week has passed and I feel like I already came to my senses. After days of crying (I am really such a tear-jerker), staring at blank spaces for what seemed like eternity, I am back to my old self- perky, bubbly, happy.

But I still hate every person who's making my life miserable. I'll get back at you.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Old feelings... (summer na!) Ang Labo.

I swear I could curse here all I want but my internet connection wouldn't improve one bit. I've been infront of the monitor the moment I woke up because of that letcheng business plan that I have to submit to the ogre. I don't want to give it on Monday; I want it done ASAP. kung pwede nga lang isampal sa ngala-ngala niya, ginawa ko na.... (ayshhhh...)

Anyway, I don't want to take things the negative way but I feel that worse feeling of 'losing' someone again. Well I hope, it's just me who's pathetically thinking about it; I hope it's just another paranoia from my end. I mean, the feeling is too familiar to miss - it's like a gush of wind - you could never go wrong; it could totally mess up your hair (whew.. ang labo ng metaphor ko). Okay, now... I don't want to say anything more... Mum's the word.

Then, there's this someone whom I thought I already forgotten. My, my , my... was I really wrong. It's as if that void wasn't there at all. It's like we're on that same time, the exact same moment. Nothing's changed. And I'm surprising myself a lot -- why do I love the feeling?

***

It's really hot!!! Summer na!!! Boracay! Galera! Camiguin! Coron! Anilao! Matabungkay! Hinulugang-taktak! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! Ahahahaha... I was just kidding about the last two...

Our office is planning a summer outing and I was the one tasked to organized everything. Funny thing is that when somebody asks me excitedly where we are going, me and my evil counterpart, Ladyholden, enjoys deflating their high hopes by replying "Matabungkay o kaya Hinulugang Taktak" hihihi. But seriously, I'm goign for Galera... Sana (keeping both my fingers crossed) 'coz it's the closest thing to Boracay (which I'm never gonnna see until May) and I suspect that our budget could only afford. Even doubt about it.

Anyway, the damn PDF AQ File that I've been downloading the last two hours hasn't moved one bit. I give up. Siyet.

Monday, March 12, 2007

March 12, 2007

It's my birthdaaaaayyyyy!!!





Mom says I was born at exactly 12:45 am...

I dunno but I really am extremely happy whenever this day approaches. Probably, I've never been thankful that I am here... I have a pretty normal and decent life and I am with the people whom I cherish the most.

And for this... I could never thank God enough.

My family was kind'a excited too... we celebrated a day earlier. I spent half my day in 168 Mall though, hoping to buy some good finds. On the way there, I came across these street children who were happily wallowing in the big fountain by the Binondo Plaza. They were shouting "Ate, ate, picture naman jan!" And so with my ever-reliable Samsung Camera-phone, I froze that wonderful scene in time.



Hmm... 25 years is really not that bad... I would say I've done a lot of good things already that could win me a de luxe reservation at the book of life up there (hehe). I am still living with my parents but I have a pretty good pay and a job that I love. (Although you know for a fact that I wouldn't consider whom or where I really work for a blessing). And yes, by the way, I am still single. How many more years should I endure before I get hitched again (not that I am too eager to be). I just miss the feeling... nyahaha!



I have a lot of wishes. And first on my list is WORLDPEACE. Seriously, not trying to be Ms. America (or Philippines) at all... but hey, we needed that badly.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Waaahhh... I am so delayed...

Nope... I am not talking about my period... So there's no fear of me being pregnant or whatsoever (ano yun, immaculate conception? hahaha!)

Anyway, the 3rd issue of Asian Quality is sooooo delayed. Probably it's my fault... I basked too much on procrastination that this is what I'm getting now. Hmmm.. probably my current 'confusion' about my 'work' is also adding up to this.

I am (or was?) suppose to transfer to this newswire company but it hasn't (didn't?) materialized yet. The girl I am talking to in the company told me she's giving me a call back this week. But I had doubts about it. Not because they wouldn't give me the call back but because I feel not too secure in the company. They couldn't answer me when I asked about the benefits that I'll be entitled to. All I know is that I will be one of the editors who will handle monthly newsletters, interview expats, write tons of copies and nothing more.

I had a good talk with Chin-Chin last Saturday (while we were pigging out at Kitchen in Greenbelt). It wasn't that she tried to convince me to stay but she actually laid out the pros and cons. And I actually did a lot of thinking myself last Friday. As for the 'bitching' of the ogre, I guess Chin tried to do something about it, telling him how inappropriate it is. In fairness, the ogre wasn't too monstrous during our last Business Unit Heads Meeting. He was actually... in fact... smiling. Yay! The visual is still scary!

Anyway, I'm missing the whole point of this blog. I am truly concern about AQ. I've had enough of pressures but hell, do I have a choice? Whether I transfer or not, WORK ITSELF IS PRESSURE. And people work to survive, to live. It's a vicious cycle nobody can stop. Bottomline is I have vowed (once again) to focus on AQ (not the person. the person has long been dead. kidding!) and make my stay here worth it. I once told myself that I will only leave this company when my next step is really really big like going abroad. But I am not saying that I'll be here until I can bear no more. Once I see that sparkling light of opportunity, I'll be all for it. Adios hell on earth.