Breaking & Mending Records

I've broken my record.

Since I came back from a short v-cay in UAE, I vowed to take a bath twice a day (my ammunition against the burning heat of the summer) and I was doing really really good. But this weekend, I totally failed. I am too lazy, thus, I only took a bath once yesterday, very late in the afternoon. I was wearing my pajamas 'till 3pm and I was too lazy to move. In fact, I was like a furniture at home. And today, nah, I don't even wanna tell. =)

Anyway, I think I've been breaking a lot of records lately - on a negative note, that is. Last week, I tried a cleansing diet a.k.a. "not-eating-anything-solid" and it only lasted me two days and a half. I just can't NOT eat. I thought I was actually doing good but every time I go home and open our fridge, my glutton-button automatically switches on. So it makes me not want to stay home as much as possible. It's not that I want to starve myself to death and be a skinny a** but everytime I look at myself in the mirror, I am starting to see paddles instead of arms, and I can't see pass my tummy anymore when I'm standing totally straight and try to peek at my feet. You may laugh but I am dead serious.

I wanted to do a lot of things like read books until my eyes ache or my head spin and do some jogging around Makati triangle after work. I wanted to make my room over, paint it purple or green (or something bright and crazy!) and re-arrange each and every piece in it - from the largest (my wardrobe) to the smallest (my incense holder). I wanted to buy a metal covered trash bin for our kitchen and put a water heater in the shower. I wanted to apply for an EPEC just for the heck of it and renew my passport 'coz the immigration officer in Singapore scared the hell out of me, telling me that that'll be the last time they're accepting it.

Those thoughts have been in my head for quite some time and up to now, they are still JUST thoughts. They are swimming inside my head along with the ravenous thoughts about my dilemmas at work that kill me slowly. The only thing that keeps me sane is, well, knowing that life is a tease - now, I may not be okay, but tomorrow, I'll be out there in the world again, with a huge genuine smile plastered on my face again.

In fact, I am feeling quite good about what will happen next. I am starting to see some light at the end of this very long (and stinky) tunnel. It may be bad to "just hope" since as people (naturally created intelligent by the hands of God) we have choices to make. And it is our choice if we want to be stuck or to move forward.

Tomorrow, I am starting my after-work jogging and tonight, after writing this blog, I am going to get a schedule from DFA online for my passport renewal. Who knows, I might need it sooner than I expected?

Smile! Laugh while we can, 'coz I am a strong believer that we can only be here once. =)