work spasm

i don't have anything to write today. but just to make use of my idle (and wasted) time in front of kay's monitor... i compel myself to string these words.
don't get the wrong picture; i actually have tons of 'to do's' so long, it could actually compare with lotto's long line of aspiring millionaire wannabe's but [again] i am not my usual 'hardworking' self today. no matter how deep i concentrate, everything seems like a void.
i can't help but think: my existence is dictated by the 'senseless' routinary things i do at work. Forgive me, but i really can't fathom my importance in this corporate setting. I can't define what i need to do or at least prove my worth (especially, when every single time you are bombarded with the incessant 'psyching out' shrekkie so love to do). hmmm... maybe i should consider another job? tried that... but what's the point... i haven't proven anything yet. If ever, fate allows, i'd be able to stay for at least one year in this office, i want to leave something i would be remembered of (seriously!) I am serious about this whole Asian Quality thing but to my dismay, i think i am not getting enough moral boosting from my superior. That's the funny thing about it. I am being passionate about something that is not even mine or i don't know if i'd even have the license to call it mine.
as much as i hate writing (or complaining) about work, there isn't really anything to tell you... sorry...