waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

i miss my Asian Quality!!!!

where's the writer in me?

i don't know how to write anymore. and by that, i mean i feel like i don't know how to construct a decent piece of an article -- be it a news story or just the creative crap i so love to do. i was asked by my big boss to write a news briefing about a recent event for our company website and it hurt me to realize that i've been struggling to write a four-liner straight news story. The thing that i've been soooo expertly doing in the last four years, now i am having a hard time doing. I am so doomed. I capitalize in this craft and yet i am slowly losing it. i hate to think this way but i just can't help it or maybe i am just over-reacting and i am crossing my fingers that i am just being paranoid.

my pretty guy is a kid at heart (^__^)

hmm... this past few days, things with me and my pretty guy is going quite well... lucky me... i think i'm past that stage when i feel really weird (not to mention, a total loser) whenever he's near me. we're closer than ever and i think this is more than enough. I mean, i never wish for superficial things to happen... if it would then i'll be the happiest person on earth, but if not, i'm happy just the same. Him being around, being his usual makulit self is fine. I never thought that we would agree on some things (unang tingin naman kase, he's really weird e... hehe!) but surprisingly, we do... although in the littlest things lang. At least we have something to talk about. And i mean, once we start talking, we just couldn't stop. actually, he just couldn't stop... he's soooo talkative... but in a good way. sometimes, it just makes me wanna stare at him for hours. (if it wouldn't be too psycho to do so.. haha!) i really LIKE the guy soooo much! i think i'm falling... hmmm... cheezzzyyyyy... EEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! forgive me but i'm still elated by what transpired the whole day... i can't even stop smiling (^_^) whatever that is... im keeping it to myself na lang... hahaha!!! i just wanna shout to the world how happy i am to be with him... hope this would never end...

about pretty guy

my spirits are pretty high today and i hope it won't drop an inch until i go home this afternoon. it's just a little sad though that my "inspiration" isn't here.. no one to stalk... hehe.. nah, i just feel happy seeing him around... anyway, i think this whole crush thing is going up a notch higher... i mean, i'm really really starting to like like like him... hehe! and i don't know why. i just don't get it... as my good friend zillah puts it, the only thing lacking him is a big "L" sign on the forehead. but i beg to disagree. Well maybe he's a little off when it comes to his fashion but all in all, he's really not that bad. in fact, he has this cute face which he conceals with his unruly hair... (",)
anyway, so far my day's good... even without a glimpse of him... 'til next...

crushing 101

there's really nothing spectacular about having a serious (is this?!?) crush on someone... especially on someone whom you see everyday but not necessarily get close to as much as you wish for. in my case, i easily get frustrated when the day passes by without my prospect looking (and please, smiling) my way. I usually find him snobbish or a bit moody or i tend to hate (well, just irked by) him. Don't get me wrong... i seriously hate this feeling. blah....

sad me

so sad today.... haven't seen him in like two days na!!!! huhuhu

Transferring home...

I'm going to sleep at my new home tonight.... (",)

August 10, 2005 Wednesday 1:51 pm - I was jilted last night

Is this a good day or what?!?! At last, we have finished the prototype of the EMS 2004 project... yea, after days (and nights) of unabated work (except for a minute or two of daydreaming about the pretty guy). Whom, speaking of, I've been missing for the past seven and a half hours. he's not here the whole day. =( yesterday, i felt like i was jilted. he commented something about our picture that broke my little heart... haha! something like not wanting to see it again... grrr.... that... guy! anyway, i'm having a good time right now... not too loaded with work but i haven't finished this one thingy that i have right now... hmmm... my mind has this big void in it that it feels sooo empty today... maybe drained with too much thinking during the previous project. wait 'till the big boss comes back and we're in for tons more.

August 05, 2005 Friday 6:55pm

Rochelle and me are suppose to have dinner together but it was cancelled at the last minute because of the heavy downpour. it's fine with me though as i still have a long list of "to do stuffs" to finish.
What a day! I was actually sulking this morning because I thought the pretty guy was mad at me. turned out he wasn't. we even had lunch together. geez, i am really being a paranoid... (it's sooo pathetic) but as always, i do not care... I am happy and I am fine with it. (",) This was also the first time I ever had a picture taken with the pretty guy. The outcome wasnn't that magnificent though -- he looked a little constipated while I looked like a mad kitten... shucks... hoped it was prettier (^__^)
He was nice but still, aloof. We kind'a teased him about forgetting how to smile because of too much work... He said in real life, he's a goofball. I'd surely like to see that side. *sigh* I wish to know him more.

August 03, 2005 Wednesday 7:15 pm

It's just the middle of the week and it felt like weekend already! we're sooo loaded with work these days. I am actually quite finish with the editing stuff for the 'procedures' ... almost done and i'm so happy about it.
sucks big time today... the pretty guy isn't here the whole day. =( i sooo missed looking at him (i know i sound like a total psycho...hehe!) ei, he's really cute today! err, he looks a bit different and i'd say he really looks something... (",) but yea, he didn't stay the whole day... grrr.... guess i'd just see him tomorrow then....
okay, i have to go back to work...

August 02, 2005 Tuesday 7:05 pm

About my pretty guy (but he doesn't know actually!!!)

He's sitting quietly at his workstation working on something... I just wish he'd come by and say 'hi'... geez, i am really getting pathetic. (let me be, i am happy anyway) i wonder about this guy really. while others may not notice it, his being 'mysterious' makes me like him even more. what kind of food does he like? What about music? does he read Harry Potter like me? (I doubt...) All i know is that he's into music (the classical type, or maybe not... basta music). He likes laing and he has this weird fashion sense. He also has this weird voice, a little high-pitched for a guy. but it doesn't really matter, he's cute and I like him for that. I just wish i could really get to know him more without being too obvious that i am infatuated with him.... yaikks! wonder what time he's going to go home this time...(",)

August 02 Tuesday 3:45 pm

i know you are losing the truest sense of what you are called -- My daybook -- because i haven't written in a long time (and it's suppose to be everyday!) Lately, we've been really buried with work because of that Trainer's Companion Stuff. Last night, we went home almost 9pm. I wasn't able to finish the editing stuff but atleast, I'm going somewhere.
The pretty guy also took an ot yesterday so it didn't bother me much having to spend almost 13 hours in the office (tee-hee!) lovely to look at, charming to hold... but i'm only allowed the former. sucks.
It was just past 3pm when I opened this blog... i had to finish some things so it's actually 6:45 pm now. I'm still here at the office. To be honest, I am not actually psyched at all to go home. I can actually stay here for as long as it could take. I'd rather work than be the stranger that I am at home with my mother. I wonder of we'll ever be okay. As far as I know, I have nothing to ask for an apology for. I know I am only a daughter but daughters also have rights and dignity to keep. And my so-called mother just stripped me off of what's what left of that. She ought to say sorry, not me. (I know i sound like a total b**ch but i was raised to fight for my beliefs).
Yesterday, my boss already spoke to us (V and Z) about that house (Condo actually) that they are going to rent for us (with us paying only half the rent as an incentive). I am actually thinking about moving out but i did not expect it to be so soon. I still am deciding... should it fit my budget, I'll go for it, definitely! It's just so sad that my sister and me wouldn't be living together anymore (coz she has her own plans of moving out). I so love being with her despite the fact that we fight like cats and dogs do.

July 29 Friday 12:20 pm

It's been a while, but there's really nothing much to tell. For the last few days, I've (we've) been busy with work due to this product that we have to deliver in the next two weeks. How to put it: The word is not really 'enjoying work' because it is WORK and I am actually a self-confessed bummer. I never thought that I'd be okay with having to spend atleast 12-14 hours a day at work but now I am kind'a grasping the idea. First, I am compelled to do it and I am really fine with it. And considering the atmosphere at home now, I'd rather spend my entire day here at the office. Yea, my mom and me are still giving each other the cold shoulder. It's not that I am still mad at her, I'm just really offended by what she said and did when we last fought. The fact that she gave away the spare room that we're supposed to have as an extension to our room (to my 'she's-too-poor-oh-poor-thing-you're-soo0oo-annoying tita) adds to my sentiments. It makes me feel that her sister is more important than her own family! It really makes me mad as hell (and my sister too!)
As for my pretty guy, he's been such a snob this week. wonder what his problem is. Anyway, it doesn't make any difference. He still doesn't know my thing for him. (",)
The Product Team is having this little dinner 'party' for the new company. Sayang, pretty guy wouldn't be there because he's not part of our team. I just hope it would turn out well.
By the way, I still have about 40% of colds virus in my system... sucks...

July 24 Sunday 12 nn

It's Sunday and I'm here in the office finishing some work so i won't have to go here tomorrow (it's special holiday anyway because of the President's SONA). I had my first "bad" experience at work Yesterday when that 'gorilla' scolded the whole office [out of nowhere] just because people kept asking the management to clarify our working sked for Monday. I really hate him.
Anyway, on a much happy note... I miss the pretty guy so much today. i looked at some of his pictures and he looks really funny... (",) i wish i could look at them all day.

July 22 Friday 12:45 pm

huhuhu.... i'm not feeling well... i feel so sick, i'm starting to regret going to work. I should be staying home and resting... probably sleeping right this moment... but i have to work. got some things to finish. I need to get those quotations for the magazine ASAP. Even got at a meeting at 1pm about the timeline of the products. Anyway, i had a good time last night with my friend Bambie and Ate Helen. It's really nice to catch up with them. We talked basically about work and I couldn't stop blabbing about the pretty guy (",) but anyhow, that's an entirely different story. tee-hee!
speaking of, he just left about two hours ago with this really pretty lady, a consultant or something... i think a business meeting or whatever that is. it's plain work but i am really really jealous (hehe... Over-reacting) don't know if he'll still be back but i hope he would so i would have someone (thing) pretty to look at... hehe!

July 21 Thursday 1:40 pm

the pretty guy is here.... (",)

July 21 Thursday 12:25 pm

i have no appetite today. maybe because of the fact that im feeling nauseous all morning becuase of my colds and fever. i've already taken my 'drugs' and im actually feeling a little bit better... just sleepy.
haven't seen the pretty guy around yet so my day isn't complete yet (awww!) wonder where he is but of course, i can't just ask around (if i wanna keep my sanity intact).

July 20 Wednesday 3 pm

weaahh... just 30 minutes ago, i was sulking. the pretty guy was such a snob. he doesn't even smile. we had a meeting (he was there so i was elated) but he didn't even blink in my direction. i wonder if im just really a paranoid little thing or it's just really him. haay, whatever it is, i don't wanna think about it... i'm going crazy here.. but actually, he did approach me a while ago, just hearing him call my name makes me smile up to my ears, but of course i had to act normal. I swear, i really really like him.

July 19 Tuesday 12:35

so here i am eating lunch at my workstation... actually, there's just no room for the three of us (vida, tin and me) at the conference room (the smaller one) where we usually eat lunch... there's too many of them there already. (",) the pretty guy isn't eating lunch yet... hmmm.. busy (yea, talking with someone) hehe... he's cute but he's voice is a real turn off... hehe

July 19 9:25 am

haay, it's another gloomy morning. i need to finish some stuffs today and i know exactly where (and how) to start but i'm not in the mood to move. reached the office just in time so i won't be marked late. who else could make my day but that person i was blabbing about. but he is a 'mystery'. today, he is a little snob, he wouldn''t even smile, unlike the other days that you could exchange some friendly banters with him... *sigh* i hate this really.